


The demon and the swan

by Nuredhel



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms
Genre: Abusive Relationship, Angband was a terrible place to be, Arranged Marriage, Broken Heart, Childhood Sweethearts, Eventual Romance, F/M, Former Slave, Hope, Internalized Misogyny, Mentions of Rape, Rags to Riches, Salvation, Smut, Some Sex, forced to obey, gender roles taken to the extreme, redemption from past sins, sexual awakening, sick and twisted husband, social climbing, strict rules of behaviour, trickery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:40:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29997423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuredhel/pseuds/Nuredhel
Summary: Manya of the vanyar is trying so very hard to be what society expect of her, what her family demand of her. But her husband is not who he seems to be and her future looks bleak. When things suddenly change she has but once chance to escape from the circle of expectations and hidden rules, can it truly end well? Can a friend from the past have the power to change her future?
Relationships: Rog/OC
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Damnation and salvation

The demon and the swan

The small garden was rather dark, the light of the day fading and the last rays did caress the lovely statues and majestic trees with a hint of gold. The garden was very beautiful and well kept, everything was in perfect order and the beds of flowers were a kaleidoscope of bright colours and fragrances. The one thing there which did seem out of order was the nis clinging to one of the statues, her chest heaving and her face contorted by emotions. She was shaking, tears streaming down her cheeks and she was pale as a ghost. In the distance one could hear the shouts of another nis, desperate angry shouts which did pierce the silence. 

The nis was wearing a gown in a lovely bluish grey fabric, it was long and rather modest but couldn’t hide the fact that this female was very beautiful with a lovely heart shaped face and a long slender neck. Her hair a rare shade of deep strawberry blonde and she had eyes of indigo blue, large and slightly slanted. But that beauty was marred, her face contorted and her tears made her eyes red and sore. She sobbed, clinging to the statue for support, her legs were close to giving inn underneath her. The shock had been simply too much and now she felt a terrible feeling of shame. She was relieved, relieved beyond belief and she knew that nobody could know this, it wasn’t right, she ought to mourn, not rejoice. Her mother was raging inside, screaming in denial and anger and confusion and it was actually not that odd at all. The young nis knew she wasn’t supposed to feel happy now, she should be devastated, insulted even. But things were not as they seemed to be, as they should have been. 

She had been told a little over a week ago, that her husband was to be returned to her from the halls. She had broken down, her mother convinced that it was out of sheer joy and a celebration had immediately been organized. Since the master of the house too had left with the host of the valar her mother was in charge of the household, a duty she did perform with great diligence. As the lady of the house her place was in her eyes well defined and she had been devastated by the fact that the men of the household had been absent for such a lengthy time. Taking care of the property and the chores outside of the house wasn’t anything she had any experience with and neither did she want to. A female’s place was in her eyes within the house, to please her husband. 

The nis tried to straighten herself up, her legs trembling still and she felt slightly nauseous. She knew what this meant, she would be shunned by everybody and the family name tarnished for ages to come. Her mother would live in despair, and how could they hope to manage now? Two women with no males to care for them and the property? They would be the objects of ridicule and mockery and she knew that her mother feared the rumours and wicked tongues of their peers more than anything else. That Orwarion had chosen to follow the valar and their army to Ennorath had been a terrible blow to her pride, it simply wasn’t done. A husband couldn’t just abandon his household in such a manner? It was his duty to stay and keep them safe and make sure that they were given all they needed. 

Her mind simply couldn’t fathom that some things are more important than the traditional roles she had grown up with. Inwis was a proud nis and yet very simple, she was a beauty and well known for being very pious and an excellent wife but nobody did ever claim that she was overly smart. Rather the opposite but she did take pride in that too, felt that a female shouldn’t be too intelligent for what would be the purpose of that? Her daughter was the only child they had gotten and so she had made sure to raise the girl in the right manner. 

Manya was the apple of her eyes and the mother name she had given the girl, Alqua meaning swan did show her devotion to the child. She had wanted the young nis to be perfect, a true gem of a housewife. But Inwis wasn’t capable of seeing that the world isn’t perfect, that it doesn’t follow some holy plan without hitches and flaws. And this could be simply too much for her. 

Manya did wipe her eyes, taking deep controlled breaths. She had to get in control of herself, it was no other way. Her mother was in shock and the entire household would probably fall apart if nobody did take a grip and made sure that things were done like before. Nobody could have prepared them for what had happened, it was unheard of, simply impossible. And yet it had been real, as unthinkable as it was.  
Inwis had been triumphant, beaming with joy, so sure that things now would return to normal. With her law son back she could back down from those unbecoming chores and be a humble nis again, and she was sure that her husband would return too. They didn’t know much about him at all, but he wasn’t in the halls, which meant he had to be alive and then he would return to them wouldn’t he? It was his duty after all and to Inwis duty was everything, the very fabric which held the world together. 

Nullaron had arrived at midday, wearing the plain grey robes of those just returned to life and he had acted in his usual brusque manner. He had not even allowed Inwis to welcome him properly before he proclaimed that he wouldn’t stay there, that he was done with this whole thing and would go into the service of Namo. The marriage to Manya was annulled and he would not return to the property again. That was all, no apology, no explanation and Manya had stood there, feeling like a marble statue.  
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing, she had dreaded his return for many days and hearing that it was over, that she no longer was forced to obey him was unbelievable. Inwis had just stood there, staring with huge eyes, her brain probably not capable of understanding this at all. He didn’t move or approach Manya at all, a cold expression on his face and then he had turned around and walked out, with no words of goodbye and Manya had turned too and ran, trying to hide her tears. To everybody else they had to be tears of sorrow but that was far from the truth. They were tears of a whole different origin, her greatest fear suddenly removed. 

Manya had been raised well, her entire life she had been prepared for her role as a housewife and she had been convinced that it was a sacred duty and her true destiny. Her parents had been a very devoted couple and very harmonic too and she wanted what they had, very much. When she came of age she couldn’t wait for the day when that would be hers to share, and she hoped that her parents would find a suitable husband for her soon. She was ready, she knew she would make her spouse very happy, she would devote her life to that. To her there weren’t any other path to take, the branch of the vanyar elves she did belong to were known for being very pious and she was incredibly naïve. She had little understanding of the world outside of her home, and her mother had restricted her knowledge, making sure that Manya wasn’t taught what she saw as inappropriate things. 

When her parents did tell her that they had found a suitor she had been overjoyed, and lived in a bubble of cheerful anticipation for the whole year the engagement did last. She never met her husband to be alone but that didn’t matter. She was smitten, completely convinced that this was to be a wonderful thing. Nullaron was also a vanya and rather stocky with thick golden hair and pale blue eyes. She found him very handsome and when the wedding day did approach she was beaming with happiness. The joy had been absolute, the day perfect. Nullaron had been smiling and received the congratulations with a grateful smile and Manya was in a daze of joyful hope.  
They would live in a side wing to her parent’s house since it was rather large and since the family was very wealthy they wouldn’t lack anything. Nullaron came from a family which also was rather influential but he was the third son and didn’t have much of an inheritance to look forwards to, but Orwarion was ready to teach him how to help out with the family business. Orwarion was well known as an excellent tradesman and he owned several stores which sold everything from jewellery to fruit and the family had never lacked funds. The property among the largest and most luxurious in this city and Manya had never known anything else than this, the abundance of things and a carefully controlled lifestyle. 

They had been taken to their bedchamber and Manya had known the basic details of what was to happen, her mother had carefully explained it and Manya was very aware of her duties. She wasn’t to resist her husband in any manner and make sure that he was always happy and satisfied. She hadn’t even been nervous for she was sure that it would be wonderful and then they would hopefully have a child of their own soon. Nullaron had been drinking some wine that evening but not enough to make him drunk and yet he did seem very drunk now that they were alone. He probably hid his intoxication from everybody and had been drinking wine instead of water.  
Manya hadn’t really had time to react at all, he had shoved her down onto the bed as she was, wearing her gown and jewellery and simply tore her skirts up. Manya had been too confused to even move, he had just opened his pants and threw himself down onto her, sheathed himself in her with one brutal thrust. The world had turned to bright red, the pain unlike anything she had ever felt before. She hadn’t been ready at all, her body not prepared and he had kept thrusting with wild energy. It felt like being split in half and in her shock she couldn’t even scream, what was this? This wasn’t right? Her training was strong though, she didn’t protest at all. He did finish with a hoarse roar, then he simply rolled off her and landed face down on the matrass, started to snore right away. 

Manya laid there, shaking all over, she didn’t understand at all. Her female parts did hurt horribly and so did her lower belly and she was afraid she would pass out. She managed to get up, there was blood on her legs and gown and even on the bed and she did pull herself into the privy, gasping with pain and shock. The bleeding didn’t stop for several hours and the pain was intense, she wasn’t able to wrap her head around this at all. Could it be that he was drunk? It had to be the answer, it was the wine for sure. Come the morrow everything would be fine. She got out of the ruined gown and into a night dress and laid down, hoping that this was just a fluke, a thing which never would happen again. Only a thin sliver of doubt did remain in her heart, her naïve heart unable to comprehend the alternative. 

That hope was quickly crushed with brutal efficiency, she wasn’t even really awake before he was at it again and this time she did pass out. She had no idea why she didn’t fade there and then, her soul overwhelmed by fear. It became very clear that she to him was a thing, property, not even a person but something he could use as he liked and he expected her to be there at all times, to be ready to serve him in every possible manner. In his mind females were just servants and vessels and he told her in no uncertain terms that he expected her to bear him sons only. Manya was terrified, there had to be something wrong with her since he treated her thus. Even when they had visitors he would demand that she acted like some thrall and he loved to humiliate her. But to her parents he was politeness incarnate and he made sure that she never got a chance to reveal the truth. 

Manya did try to hint at what was going on but her mother didn’t listen, her answer was that Manya probably weren’t doing her best to please him and that she should try to be more forthcoming and caring. Nullaron didn’t hit her, at least not so it would be visible but he did love to torment her in every possible manner. He would demand that she did completely meaningless tasks, again and again. He would humiliate her in front of even the servants and he did force himself onto her very often. He had realized how much she feared and hated his touches and it did entice him into forcing her to submit to him completely. Seeing her in fear and pain was what turned him on and he would be even more violent if she didn’t scream. Manya was not used to the idea of anything being deliberately evil, she hadn’t even been aware of the fact that some people are that twisted and to the elves it was almost unheard of, at least in Aman. 

Manya was hoping she would get pregnant, he would have to leave her alone then right? Her mother was constantly asking if anything had happened yet and Manya felt how the despair was eating at her soul. To everybody else Nullaron was a perfect ner, polite and wise and she started to see through his façade. He had been spoiled completely by his father and mother, to him the whole world did revolve around his own needs and wants and he had never faced any consequences at all. Manya spent several years in a living hell, unable to escape and she lost faith in hope. It would never end, he would keep belittling and abusing her, just for his own joy.  
Then the valar did gather warriors from all over the continent, they were going to Ennorath to help in the fight against Morgoth and both Orwarion and Nullaron did join the forces. Orwarion went because he saw it as his duty to help protect the free people against the great enemy. Nullaron wanted to go because he wanted to win glory and fame for himself and he was very cocky as he rode out of the yard, convinced that he would make the enemy flee before them. 

Manya and her mother were left there alone, with one of Orwarion’s old friends as their closest support and Manya tried to act as she was supposed to, as a loyal wife waiting for her husband’s return. But she felt as if she had been in shackles for years and now she was free. Inwis was still disappointed in her, no grand child born yet and she should show more concern for her husband’s well being. Inwis was unable to see the truth, and perhaps she was even more naïve than Manya was. To her evil was just a word, with no real meaning. And so the two women had to sit there, chastely staying at home while waiting for news. 

The maia had arrived just a few months after the two men left, it was a servant of Namo and he had explained that Nullaron had died in the very first battle he was in, or rather, skirmish. It hadn’t been a real battle, just a group of elven warriors against a few orcs and Nullaron was the only one who did die since he did panic at the sight of the nasty creatures and tried to flee, one of the orcs managed to put an arrow in him. Manya did cry, it was a bit hysterical and Inwis was trying to comfort her. The maia said that Nullaron wouldn’t be returned for quite a while, he was apparently a damaged fea and Manya did understand what the maia meant. Inwis did believe that it was due to his manner of death but Manya knew way better. Namo had seen what Nullaron was, a very dark soul indeed. 

Inwis was worried for Orwarion and that did take her thoughts away from her daughters situation at least for a few years, the home had to be taken care of and the business too. The friend of Orwarion did run the stores and he did his job really well. Teren was a very capable ner and Orwarion did trust him completely, for many years the business ran very smoothly and the family wealth did in fact increase. Manya was happy, or at least more happy than before, she hoped that her husband would be kept in Mandos forever, she feared his return like nothing else. She would rather face the Dagor Dagorath than live with that beast again. She had stopped trying to confide in Inwis, her mother was unable to comprehend anything of it. There was no point in it, the only thing Inwis would say was that it was Manya’s own fault for not being a good enough wife. In her eyes a ner could never be to blame for such things and she claimed that Manya was being selfish and told only lies. 

And now this, the thing she had hoped for was real, Nullaron would never touch her again and it was such a relief and yet a problem. Teren had been forced to quit his work with the business due to a family situation and Inwis had found another friend of Orwarion who she thought to be skilled enough for it. The ner was younger and a bit cocky but she was sure he would do this the right way, his father was after all a very well respected member of the court. Manya was afraid that Inwis would get ideas now that Manya was unmarried again, as a nis scorned by her own husband she didn’t stand much of a chance, but their family name did depend on the honour of the house and an unmarried nis was not a positive thing the way Inwis saw it. Rondarion was unmarried and rather sweet talking but Manya saw that he was slick and she didn’t trust him, not even a wee bit. Her eyes had been opened and she didn’t really want anybody in her life again. But Inwis would try to match them up, and she feared that Rondarion would agree, just to inherit the estate. Since Manya was the only heir she was likely to get quite a lot of wealth over the years and that could be tempting. 

Inwis was raging for a few days, then she started to do damage control. She had small parties with her friends and others from the other families with influence and told everybody that Nullaron had become very religious and that he had nobly chosen to dedicate his second life to the valar. It was such a grand and wonderful thing to do. Manya had nothing to do with it at all, she had been a faithful wife the whole time, waiting for her husband to return. Inwis did almost say that Rondarion had asked for Manya’s hand already even though he hadn’t even mentioned it. The rumours did still claim that Nullaron had chosen a chaste life of prayer instead of returning to Manya simply because she wasn’t fertile nor a very pleasant person to be with. It hurt her a lot but there was nothing she could do about it. 

Then Inwis tactic did backfire in a grand and terrible manner, a couple of traders did show up at their door late one evening, claiming that the estate did owe them money. Inwis didn’t understand at all, until they showed papers confirming that they had sold goods to Rondarion which he hadn’t paid for. Inwis didn’t understand, she managed to get Teren back on a visit and he went over the books and found that Rondarion had scammed them, he had removed so much money from the business that they were in danger of losing it all. Rondarion was nowhere to be found and Inwis was hysterical. They had to sell a lot of their belongings and cut down on the staff and there was little luxuries left. Inwis was constantly praying for Orwarion to return but they didn’t hear anything about him at all, not even those who did return to Aman knew anything about his whereabouts and Manya did pity her mother. Teren did manage to patch things back together at least for a while but now Inwis had a new plan. Manya had to marry again, and she had to marry someone rich, someone with influence and a name. 

The very idea did almost choke Manya who just wanted to live in peace, preferably alone. She couldn’t bare the idea of going through that again, and she did stall the process for as long as she could. The rumours had to die down, the finances had to become more stable, she had to gain some weight again…Inwis had sort of lost a bit of her drive too and that helped, she didn’t really get to start looking for a possible suitor and was spending her time complaining about her situation and wailing the fact that her husband weren’t there to help her. It wasn’t appropriate for a wife to go around looking for suitors for her daughters, it was the husband’s job. 

Many long years had passed by when things changed again, and it was devastating news. A ner they never had seen before visited them one early spring day and he had news about Orwarion. He had fought along side Inwis husband on several occasions and he had nothing but good things to say about him but Rowarion was among those who had gone missing after some orc attacks. It was believed that he had been taken alive and that meant a most horrible end. If Namo hadn’t sent a maia with any news only meant that his soul could be so damaged he didn’t remember who he was anymore. The ner did offer to go to the halls and ask and Inwis had agreed, she had to know for sure. Some weeks later he did return and did confirm what they did fear, Orwarion was dead and he would never return to life, he was simply too damaged by what he had been through. Inwis did weep for days and Manya did too, then Inwis did gather all her strength and started to actively look for a new husband for Manya yet again. Now it was crucial that they got a new man in the house and Manya’s protests weren’t listened to at all. 

Inwis was suddenly grasped by a surge of newfound vigour and zeal and she worked really hard to get what she wanted, what would salvage the remains of her life. To her the alternative was simply not conceivable, they had to have a male within the household, it wasn’t complete if the age old image of domestic bliss wasn’t perfect. Manya was in despair but she did know that she was what others would regard as utterly undesirable now. She had been married, and her husband had chosen to leave. It was unheard of. But Inwis did work day and night, praising her daughter’s good traits and really using all her charm and cunning. She was shameless and Manya was in some ways impressed by her bold approach to the problem. She even contacted families way above them socially and tried to sweet talk her way into their social circle.  
Manya would have preferred if she didn’t, she was in short terrified of getting married again but she couldn’t stop her mother in any way. At least it gave Inwis something to focus upon and that allowed Manya for some freedom after all. She didn’t have to stay at home all the time but was allowed to go for walks in the town, to shop and explore a bit. 

Inwis did hit the jackpot, or so she thought after about two whole years of fruitless searching for a suitable ner willing to marry Manya, a low ranking noble family had just moved to the city and they had a son who wasn’t married and yes, they wanted to find a wife for him. Manya was shocked, Inwis was desperate for the lad was not what you would normally regard as ideal law son material. He was a sour and impolite ner who preferred to ride out into the woods to hunt and he had no respect for his parents or anybody else for that matter. He was in short both spoiled and unpleasant and the family had almost given up. Wearion wasn’t interested in getting married, at all. He preferred to live a free life and that did include certain activities the valar would frown upon had they known. The servants had managed to pick up quite a few rumours regarding the ner and none were good. He had been in Ennorath and rumours said he had sired several children over there and had returned to Aman just to escape the responsibilities and some rather angry families. Manya would rather die than marry that idiot and she knew he would do as Rondarion had, spend all their money and then just scoot off like a fox from a henhouse. 

Inwis didn’t listen to anybody now, she was on a mission and even a bad husband was better than no husband at all. She was negotiating the marriage contracts and Manya felt trapped. She spent most of the days in the garden or in the town, roaming the streets just to escape her feeling of growing despair. 

She was wandering along the streets of the shopping area, this part of the town was packed with small stores and the streets were narrow and very hard to navigate. Many of the salesmen didn’t have a physical shop, they just arranged their goods out on the street itself and it became a maze of stands and piles of everything from fruit to fabric. She loved this area, she had hardly ever been there before Nullaron did leave for good and she had started to appreciate the liveliness and energy of the city, it was such a contrast to her previous life. This day was very warm and the sunshine sharp and piercing, many sat in the doorways and the atmosphere was relaxed and friendly. There were elves everywhere and you had to push your way through the crowd here and there. Manya was admiring some very nice embroidered shawls when she heard somebody shout, it was a clear warning. Then she heard screams and some loud crashing sounds. 

Manya didn’t know what to do, she had no idea of what this was and people did scurry to the sides, trying to get inside of the narrow doors. She too looked for a hideaway but there were none, and the crashing sounds were accompanied by some very loud roars. Her heart did drop, there was a livestock market further up the streets and this could only be a herd of cattle, on the run. She tried to run but her dress was rather tight and stopped her from moving and the maze of things didn’t allow her to see an easy route out of the danger zone. She suddenly realized that she had hit a dead end. The street stopped abruptly with a tall wall and she had nowhere to go, She saw that stands and things simply flew through the air and the thunder of hooves was deafening.  
She did scream as several large bulls with horns made their way into the short cul de sac. She had no chance of escaping and the bulls saw her. The animals were agitated and charged as one. She was sure that she would be impaled on sharp horns when there was a sound behind her, from the wall. Something flew over her head and landed on the ground in front of her. It was a very tall ner, and she couldn’t believe it for this was suicide. The first bull came rushing towards them and the ner did swing something he held, he did actually almost run towards the bull and there was a sudden crack like a thunderclap and the bull fell, it didn’t even twitch, it was dead. 

The two other bulls did hesitate and the ner did roar at them, swinging the weapon, It did look a bit like a forge hammer but it was longer and the head was vicious looking. The dead bull had a huge indentation on its forehead, between the eyes. The two bulls did roar and scraped the ground, several others came running from behind and the ner swore, then he spun around and Manya didn’t even get to take a look at the face of her saviour before he grasped onto her like she was a ragdoll and jumped.  
He grasped onto the top of the wall and swung them both up onto it, she felt weightless and scared to the bone and she did scream. He did fling them over the wall and let himself fall, caught her with his arms. The wall did simply cut a street in two, it did continue on the other side and she knew that she was safe now. The bulls did roar on the other side but even they couldn’t get through three feet of solid stone. Manya was faint, her heart beating like a wild drum in her chest and she was shivering.  
A hand did land on her shoulder, turning her around gently. “Are you alright?” 

The voice was very deep, hoarse and raspy and yet not unpleasant and she did look up at her saviour for the first time. She blinked, he was indeed very tall, and powerful in build. The wide shoulders and muscular arms told her he was a person well used to hard work and yet the clothes were of very good quality. His face was somewhat ragged but handsome and the hair thick and long and so black it did look almost blue. She had only ever seen one person with such a deep colour of black and she frowned, the eyes… He had the most peculiar eyes she had ever seen, a bright peridot green and there were a ring of yellow around the irises, it made the gaze incredibly intense.  
But she had seen those eyes before, without the yellow in them. He was darker of skin now, and she did doubt that she would have recognized him without the odd eye colour. She gasped. “Hendu?!”

He did tilt his head, the movement reminded her of a cat and she was ashamed of her own boldness, she shouldn’t assume that this was the same person. But the hair and the eyes. “Manya? Is that you?” 

He did sound incredulous and she nodded. “I…it is me, yes” 

He almost gaped. “Oh Eru, look at you! You have become a lady!”

She had to blush, a thousand emotions were flooding her and she didn’t really know what to say. “Thank you…I…they would have killed me…” 

He just nodded. “It was nothing, I heard someone screaming and I just acted. What are you doing here?” 

She took a deep breath, it was really him, her childhood friend. They had been very close as kids, his family living not far from her and the two elflings had been playing together a lot, even if his family was way below hers socially speaking. His father had been a farrier and his mother did sew for a living and Manya had at a time been convinced that she one day would marry him. Hendumaica was named for his piercing gaze and when Manya’s mother one day said that it wasn’t appropriate for her to play with him anymore it had been a terrible shock to her. She had to say goodbye and he wasn’t welcome at their home anymore. He was a bit older than her and Manya had realized that her mother was afraid that something  
inappropriate would happen, knowing that young ner could be rather rowdy at a certain age and she didn’t want to risk that her daughter did accidentally marry someone that far below her. Manya had mourned this for years but she eventually forgot, or rather, other things came to occupy her mind. 

“I…was shopping” 

She couldn’t really believe it, it was her old friend but so changed? Well, he had been a mere youth the last time she saw him, coltish and not fully grown at all and very shy and somewhat clumsy when it came to social interactions. He smiled, and she felt tiny compared to him, he was overwhelming now, and obviously a skilled warrior. “I cannot believe it is you Manya, you have changed a lot” 

She had to smile back. “So have you Hendu” 

He did bow his head. “I go by a new name now, I am no longer Hendumaica. Now I am known as Rog of Gondolin, Lord of the house of the hammer of wrath.” 

She blinked. “You are a lord?!”

He did nod his head. “Yes, I returned from the halls a few years ago and my followers and friends have gathered again, my king did grant me a rather large property to the north of here” 

She looked down, insecure all of a sudden. The clothes and the almost royal bearing told her that he was indeed somebody used to giving orders and to rule. “I am glad on your behalf…my lord” 

He did roll his eyes and it was a familiar thing, he often did that when he was a lad and she felt an odd sensation of safety. She knew him after all. “Do not do that Manya, to you I am Rog, simply that” 

She did frown. “I have never heard that name before, what does it mean?” 

He did sigh. “It is from the word Rauco” 

Manya gasped. “Demon?!”

He nodded. “Yes, it was a name I was given as a slave, and I have claimed it as my own, as my strength. “ 

She didn’t understand and he gestured for her to follow him through the street. “I was captured, by the enemy. But I managed to escape and reached my own kin again and Turgon did need good blacksmiths. I did lead a house of other escapees, and we did well, for as long as it lasted” 

She remembered having heard rumours that he and his family had been among those who followed Fëanor and she had a thousand questions all of a sudden but knew she would be impolite if she started asking. “You died?” 

He nodded, a wry grin on his lips and now in the sunlight she saw many thin white lines in his skin, remains of old scars. She swallowed hard, he was so different from the young ner she had known and yet he was the same soul, or was he? “I and my warriors did defend the city, to let the citizens escape. We did give the orcs hell, I am rather proud of that fact” 

Manya blinked. That was most valiant and also disturbing, she had little knowledge of the horrors of the past and her ability to imagine what it had been like was limited. “You must have been very brave” 

He did snort. “More like desperate. We had to fight or die or rather fight and die. It was no other option” 

Manya felt a surge of empathy and she didn’t really know what to do or say. He did tilt his head, the thick black mane was almost like a cloak covering his upper back and she was impressed by the length and shine. Few did grow it that long and it did suit him very well. “But enough about me, what about you Manya? I assume that you have a family by now?” 

She did for a second stare at his left hand, on sheer reflex. No rings there, not even signs of one and she felt conflicted. He had been her best friend, her confidant and a huge part of her childhood but now he was a stranger almost, and could she really throw this burden onto him? She shook her head. “Ah…no. My husband…he has left me” 

Rog did look confused. “Is he dead?” 

She looked down, her cheeks burning. She shouldn’t feel ashamed but her upbringing did cause her to react thus. “No, he…he was but he didn’t want to return to me, he chose to serve the valar instead” 

Rog did look very shocked. “Truly? He did chose to leave you just like that, what an idiot” 

Manya had to shrug. “Yes, but..,” 

She had problems finding the words. “I am not so sad really” 

He did stop, turned her towards him. “No?” 

She felt tears welling up within her eyes. “He…I was glad he was gone, I know I am a terrible nis for saying this but…” 

Rog stared down at her and his eyes got dark. “He was treating you like shit wasn’t he? You have been hurt, I can feel it in you, fear and despair” 

She gasped. “How do you know? I mean…” 

Rog did reach out, a finger did gently caress her chin. “One who has been through torment can almost always recognize the signs in others. What happened?” 

Manya closed her eyes. “I cannot…let’s just say that nobody did believe me. “ 

He nodded. “I won’t push you Manya, but I am here to listen. Believe me, I can handle anything. Do not be afraid” 

She didn’t manage to contain it any longer, the onslaught of feelings released by the gentleness in that voice, the sympathy. It was a dam being broken down by a powerful flood. “I am afraid, mother wants me to marry again and she has found a suitor and he is terrible and I just…” 

She burst into tears, shaking all over. “Oh Manya, it seems like Eru had a plan for my return after all. “

He did embrace her, held her gently and she felt the strong scent of fire and ash and horse from him, and his own underneath. He did rock her gently. “I did think of you very often Manya, when we travelled and when I was a slave. I hoped that you were okay, that you were happy for you were my best friend. To know that you lived in fear breaks my heart” 

She sobbed, unable to control her feelings and he stroked her hair, mumbling softly as if to calm a nervous horse. “Let it out little one, don’t hold it inn. Nobody did know did they?” 

Manya gasped. “I tried to tell but he convinced them that it was me, that I was lying. They said that no ner would treat a nis that way.” 

Rog growled, it was an ominous sound. “Too bad he serves the valar, I would have loved to make some dents in that skull of his.” 

She wailed. “And now mother wants me to marry someone of the same ilk, she is desperate, thinks that we cannot continue to live without a ner in the household, that we would be accused of being inappropriate.” 

Rog stroked her back, very gently and she didn’t feel trapped or threatened. It was odd but he made her feel safe. “I remember that your mother was terribly pious yes.” 

She hid her face, knowing that her eyes were red and her nose snotty. “She won’t listen to me, she has found someone of an in her eyes good family and I have no chance of escape” 

Rog did tilt his head again, those odd eyes were gazing down upon her with some sort of wry determination. “Really? Tell me, what does she look for in a future law son?”

Manya did discretely blow her nose in a handkerchief. “Of high social class, rich, capable of running the family business” 

Rog did grin, it was rather ominous. “Ah, and if say a lord came asking for your hand?” 

Manya frowned. “She would be thrilled? Beside herself. It would be a huge leap upwards for the family” 

He nodded. “Even a noldo?”

Manya did hesitate for a few seconds. “Ah, yes? A lord is a lord after all” 

Rog did stop walking, they were outside of a small garden now and he did open the gate. “Come with me, I think I have a plan, and I have some of my friends here, I think I want to hear what they have to say about it” 

The garden was rather pretty and the house was very elegant and revealed a great deal of wealth. He did grin at her, with a sort of boyish joy. “I kept my title when I returned and the property I was given is rather wealthy, so I am well off now. This house is used when I visit the city to trade” 

She nodded. “What do you trade in?” 

He opened a door and let out a shout. They heard someone answering and he did lead her through. “Metals, of all sorts. I am a blacksmith and will always be a blacksmith, even when I suddenly am regarded as one of the heroes of old” 

A ner and a nis came running down a flight of stairs, both wore clothes in the same colour and it did look like uniforms. They stopped and stared at Manya but their gaze was friendly and open and she did blush and tried to look calm and collected but her red eyes and puffy face did probably reveal that she had been weeping. “Tancarion, Winima, this is Manya, I have told you about her yes?” 

The ner did bow politely and the nis did smile widely. “Oh yes you have, in excess. But you didn’t manage to explain how lovely she is”

Manya did blush desperately and Rog held her hand. “I just met her, or rather, I had to save her from some stampede bulls. I think I have a mission my friends, a reason for my second life” 

Tancarion was staring at her, his eyes did reveal some sort of revelation, “I see” ¨

Rog took a deep breath. “She is in a bad situation now, her mother wants to marry her off to some idiot, and we cannot let that happen can we?” 

Winima did almost giggle. “I can see where you are heading Rog, we support you, we always will” 

Manya did frown. “What do you mean?” 

Rog did caress her hand gently. “When I was a lad I did always imagine that you would be my wife one day, so what about me asking your mother for your hand?” 

Manya did gape, her mind did stand still for a while. “Ah…” 

He didn’t let go of her and she felt her heart racing. It would solve everything and yet…she did fear it. But the alternative? She nodded, desperately. “Yes, yes please. Do it. She won’t be able to resist such an offer” 

He smiled. “I have been expected to find a wife ever since I returned but I guess you have been on my mind the entire time. Do you know the name of that suitor she has found? We can ensure that he is out of the equation completely” 

She took a deep breath. “Wearion, his family came to the city just a few years ago.” 

Tancarion snapped his fingers. “Right, I will be on it immediately”

He did sprint out of the door and Manya was a bit dizzy, this went too fast, she wasn’t able to handle it all. Winima did gently push her towards a couch and Manya did sit down, her heart still racing. “Are you sure that this is truly what you want?” 

Her voice was thin and Rog sat down too, his face sincere. “It is, like I said, I have been thinking about you for oh so long and now I may rescue you. That is almost more than I can ask for” 

Manya did blush. “I…I am not sure I can be a good wife, I didn’t give Nullaron any children”

Rog sighed. “Forget about all those things you think you are supposed to do, I will be happy just knowing you are safe.” 

Manya bit her lower lip, her hands trembling. Winima sighed deeply. “Your former husband did mistreat you didn’t he? I can see it in you dear, but do not fear. I know my lord, he would never harm you, not in any manner” 

Manya managed to smile but it was shaky and insecure. “I…I believe you” 

Rog did look thoughtful. “ I think we have to plan this well, could you go and get Aradain? Tell him to put on the guard uniform, and make himself look impeccable?” 

Winima did nod with a wry grin and ran off and Manya stared at Rog with an expression of light confusion. “Your mother does easily fall for signs of power doesn’t she? She won’t be able to recognize me now, not as the person I have become. She didn’t see me that often after all and I was a mere youngling back then. If she see you being taken home by some powerful lord’s personal guard it does back up the story we are to tell her” 

Manya held her breath a few seconds. “But…are you sure she won’t find out who you are in the end? She was always so convinced that your family were inferior and not worthy of becoming associated with us?” 

Rog smiled, a very soothing smile. “No chance Manya, only a handful of people knows who I was, and I trust them all completely. My old name was forgotten back in Angband. There I was reborn you may say, everything of my past wiped away, burned out. And when I returned to my kin as an escapee I never told anybody who I had been, I had almost forgotten it. I was Rog and that was my name. Besides, your family had very little to do with us noldor after all, our tribes were very separate back then.” 

Manya swallowed. “So, what are you planning to do?” 

He did shift his position on the couch and stretched the long legs. She saw that there was some specks of dirt on his boots, he didn’t shun real work at all. “I will send you home and you will tell your mother that a lord did save you from a stampede. And that he sent a guard with you to make sure you made it home safely. She will find that thoughtful and kind and she will probably be curious as to who this lord is. But you won’t tell her, just tell her that he didn’t tell you his name.” 

Manya frowned. “Why?”

He had a devious glimpse within his eyes. “Because it will make her curious, intensely so. I will make sure that this new suitor of yours is unavailable, then I will make my move” 

She bit her lower lip. “You are devious” 

He laughed, a deep hearty laughter. “So I have heard. She will be desperate by then and when a proposal does drop at your doorstep she will go for it, like a starving dog at a bloody steak” 

Manya had to blink, she felt a bit overwhelmed still. “You seem to know her well?” 

He scoffed. “I know her type yes, terrified of facing reality, of stepping out of their tiny comfort zone. To her the world has to function in a certain manner, or else it won’t make sense to her at all.” 

Manya did nod. “Yes, that is exactly how she is.” 

Rog smiled and caressed her hand gently. “I am sure, I saw a lot of people like that in Gondolin, they preferred to pretend that the fire didn’t exist even if it was burning right in front of them. Will full ignorance is the comfort of the feeble mind” 

There as a knock on the door and a ner stepped inside, he was very tall like Rog and wore a uniform, complete with a sword at the side. He did look impressive, the pieces of armour on him were polished and even the boots were shiny. He did bow and smiled. “So, you have a job for me?” 

Rog got up. “Yes, do escort lady Manya here back to her home, do not stop for anybody and do not let anybody know who you work for.” 

Aradain tilted his head to the side and there was a very peculiar expression upon his face. “I see, as you wish my friend” 

Rog made a gesture towards the blonde ner. “Aradain was one of my best blacksmiths back in Gondolin, he did fight very well in our final battle too. How many balrogs did you fell again?” 

Aradain did laugh out loud, he had a very full and lovely laughter. “Oh half a dozen? Nah, I didn’t fell any of those burning bastards, a couple of trolls though. But a huge goddamn orc got me in the end” 

Rog did pat his friend on the back. “You are modest as always, a couple of trolls were more like fifteen of them. Aradain was an expert at those monsters, he had realized that their knees were weak so he bashed inn their kneecaps. A troll who cannot walk isn’t much of a threat.” 

Manya did blush. “I don’t know much about those things, I am sorry.” 

Rog shook his head. “Don’t be, you are blessed to never have met any of those monsters. Believe me, you haven’t missed out on much. Stinky nasty critters” 

She had to giggle. “I bet” 

Rog took her hand. “Know what, I will tell you all you want to know later on, when I find the time. Do you still live in the room at the corner of the second floor?” 

She nodded. It was towards the garden and rather hidden and when they were kids he would often climb the garden wall and meet her in the garden below. “Yes” 

He kissed her hand swiftly. “Good, I may show up before you know it. Now, remember what I told you and don’t worry, it will be alright.” 

She felt herself blushing once more and Aradain did open the door for her. “Until the next time then” 

Rog smiled, she remembered that smile” Yes, until then” 

Aradain did lead her through streets she didn’t really know and it took a while before she was back in her own neighbourhood. Aradain did wink at her as he opened the front gate to her family home. “You have done well my lady, Rog is very popular and also powerful. His house is large and respected and he knows what it is like to struggle, like none other. He will treat you well” 

She looked down. “I know” 

Aradain did look as if he was thinking of memories of old. “I can still remember that battle, he was the last man standing you see. I fell a little before him, he was the last thing I saw. Bloody and wounded, having thrown his helmet and shield, swinging that hammer of his like a raging god, they could kill him but never break him. “ 

She remembered the shy and gentle young ner who never would have hurt a fly on purpose and she shuddered within, something horrible must have happened to Rog to transform him into such a spectacle of violence. 

The house was quiet but Manya was sure her mother was worried by now and she did give Aradain a swift nod before putting on an appropriately worried expression and running back indoors. Aradain did turn on his heel and Manya saw that her mother came rushing down the walkway, she saw the tall and very well dressed guard and stopped, eyes huge. “Manya, what has happened? Who is that ner?” 

Manya did pretend to be a bit out of breath, it felt oddly refreshing to play a game like this. “It was a guard, I don’t know his name” 

Inwis frowned. “A guard?!”

Manya did make a grimace. “Yes, I…I was almost trampled by some stampede bulls, down by the fabric market. And this high lord did pull me to safety and sent his guard with me, to make sure I made it home swiftly” 

Inwis was making huge eyes “A lord? Who?” 

Manya shook her shoulder. “I don’t know, he didn’t tell me. But he was a noldo, and he did save me, they would have trampled me to death mother” 

Inwis did hug her swiftly. “Oh my dear child, you should have asked for that at least, we ought to show our gratitude. “ 

Manya did pretend to be a bit faint still. “Oh I know, but I was so scared and it happened so fast and… I told him my name tough”

Inwis did press her lips together. “Good, now, we do have to get to dinner, the cook has been waiting for half an hour already” 

Manya did just nod meekly but she knew that the cogs and wheels within her mother’s head were spinning already. A lord could be a springboard into a whole new social circle, and the right contacts were the key to everything. 

Manya did pretend to have forgotten the whole thing and for a few days nothing new happened, she hoped that Rog would do as he had promised and visit her but he didn’t show up. But one evening she found a note on the balcony outside of her room, it was small and written with a very strong handwriting. “Things are in motion” 

That was all it said and Manya felt a surge of excitement. Rog had to have found something to use against Wearion. Inwis was over at that family a few times and seemed to be ready to discuss the very wedding itself but then something happened and it was spectacular. Manya wasn’t there and she was glad of that for it had been ugly.  
Westarion and his family had visited the court and were chatting away with one of the high kings courtiers when a nis came walking up the stairs towards the council chamber. Westarion became pale as a ghost at the sight and she carried something in her arms. The nis was very young and very pretty and obviously royally pissed off. She lifted the object and a blanket fell off it and it was an elfling, very young and it had the exact same odd shade of sand brown hair as Westarion had. She yelled. “What is it that I am hearing? You are getting married are you? But no ner is allowed to have two wives in life and I am very much alive thank you so much!”

The elfling started to wail and she held it so everybody could see it. “Listen, your son is crying, are you going to do something? You swore you would wed me for real before you took me to your bed and then you just left, but not without leaving something behind!” 

She spat at the floor and the others there just stared, eyes huge! Westarion did open and close his mouth like a fish and his father stared at the child and the mother with an expression of utter bewilderment. “Son, is this true? Did you swear to marry this young nis?” 

Westarion tried to say something, his voice rather thin. “Ah, she is lying, don’t believe her, whatever she says” 

The nis growled. “Oh, I am lying now? Know what, I have a witness” 

Another nis came forth, a very elegant female wearing the grey robes of someone in the service of Estë and she bowed swiftly. “I am Heressaiel, I was at the same inn as these two young ones and I heard what he did say. He said that he would marry her, that she was the true love of his life and that she would be his life and his light” 

She pointed at Westerion. “There he is, and if I ever have heard sweet words it was back then.” 

The baby did whimper and the mother held him high still. One of the other family members did step forth, a bit curious. “He is as if he is formed in the same mould as Westarion, the face and the eyes are so alike it is scary” 

Westarion did look as if he wanted to strangle that one relative but before he could say anything his father did step forth. “What is your name young one, and from whence do you hail?” 

The nis bowed her head. “I am Gilriel, I am a daughter of the mayor of the town just west of the harbours and I did believe him when he said that we were meant to be” 

Westarion’s father did turn around, there was still shock on his face but he did keep it together. “So my son, you have gotten yourself a wife and a son without our knowledge?” 

Westarion did look as if he wanted to run for it. “She isn’t…” 

His father did interfere. “Oh but she is, according to the laws and customs of our people you have bedded her and therefor you have wedded her.” 

Westarion did gape. “You cannot mean it…” 

The older ner did grasp his son by the scruff of his neck and almost pushed him down the stairs. “You have brought this upon yourself my son, now, I welcome sweet Gilriel to our family and your son. What is his name dear?” 

Gilrien did smile. “Haldaron sir, he is a very healthy baby” 

The crowd which had gathered had been broiling and before long the news was everywhere. Westarion had tried to commit a most appalling crime and now he would have to face up to what he had done and face his responsibilities. 

Inwis almost lost it when she heard of this, all her plans fell into ashes there and then and it had all been for nothing. Yet she was decent enough to send a letter to Westarion’s family, congratulating them with the new law daughter and grand son and she did express her slight (in her own words) disappointment that the union they had been so busy building would have to be cancelled but good luck for the future. Manya was snickering to herself. It was no doubt that Rog and his associates had done a masterful job finding Gilriel and helping her getting what she was justly owed by her seducer. 

Inwis was almost depressed, she had failed and she blamed herself for not being careful enough. She swore that she would be more careful from now on and have every possible candidate checked out thoroughly before trying to contact them. Manya did just smile blandly and accept it. She knew that things were about to change. 

Rog allowed Inwis to simmer for a few days, to make sure that it wasn’t too fast before he sent a messenger to the mansion. He came early one evening, wearing that lovely uniform and carrying a very elaborate envelope sealed with a seal of golden wax. Inwis did take the letter carefully, openly stunned and shocked and the messenger just bowed and left, hardly speaking a single word. Manya was hiding behind a door, she saw that Inwis did find a small letter knife and broke the seal. She was obviously very confused and folded out the expensive creamy paper and started to read. She let out a small yelp and fell down onto the couch, eyes huge like tea cups.  
Manya pretended to be walking into the room out of sheer coincidence. She frowned. “Mother, what is it? You are pale?!”

Inwis did fan herself with the letter, there was something akin to hysteria in her eyes and voice. “Manya, dear child. Eru is with us for sure, he has held his hand over us. You lost the chance at Westarion but that was good, that was all in his plan.” 

Manya hid her pleased grin. “What are you blabbering about mother?” 

Inwis made a sort of high pitched squeal. “Look, the lord who saved you…He has asked for your hand in marriage” 

Manya grasped the letter and managed to look appropriately shell shocked. “Oh my…” 

Inwis wiped her eyes. “Oh blessed day, sacred day. A lord! Westarion wasn’t nowhere near this well off” 

Manya pretended to read the letter in detail. “He asks for an answer fast I see? Already tomorrow?” 

Inwis nodded. “Oh yes, let us not hesitate dear child. I will send a letter back with our complete acceptance of the offer. Oh what a relief, this is wonderful” 

Manya felt an absurd need to giggle. “Oh yes, wonderful indeed. What is his name?” 

Inwis did almost shake like a pond in an earthquake. “Lord Rog of Gondolin, apparently one of the returned, and a ner of rather immense influence and power, they say he is a hero” 

Manya nodded. “He was very brave when he sawed me yes, I am lost for words mother” 

Inwis did smile. “Oh so am I dear child but oh, you need a new wardrobe now, one worthy of your suitor and some jewellery and…” 

Manya did grasp Inwis by the hand. “Calm yourself mother, breathe”

Inwis did take a deep breath and managed to get a grip of herself. “Of course dear, now, I need to call for the seamstress and for a jewellery smith, it all has to match” 

Inwis got up and started shouting orders to the servants and Manya did walk slowly back to her room, once inside she stood there grinning from one ear to the other and shivering with mirth. Her mother had swallowed the bait, and if this could be done swiftly there was little chance of anything getting in their way. Whence married it didn’t matter who Rog had been in the past, it couldn’t be undone just on a whim. 

The letter spoke the truth, the very next day a messenger came for the answer as promised and Inwis had written a very flowery and descriptive letter which did brag about Manya in every possible manner and she gave it to the messenger with a swift bow and a sweet smile. Manya just hid her grin, Inwis should have known that the ner she now was ready to bow to and almost beg to marry her daughter was the same person she had once forbidden from seeing Manya completely. It was a lovely irony there somewhere. 

Later that evening a whole group of elves came to the mansion with a massive load of stuff, all gifts from the lord to his “lovely fiancée” as the letter which did follow it all said. It was gowns and jewellery and shoes and basically everything a future bride to be could wish for. And the quality was insane. Inwis was speechless and Manya did grin to herself and pretended to be utterly shocked. The gowns were wonderful and she realized that Rog would make sure that she never would lack anything. She had been used to wealth also when she was married to Nullaron but he never allowed her to show it. She was kept at home at all times and he was extremely jealous. Rog probably wasn’t. He obviously wanted to show Manya off. 

That night Manya had just gotten to bed when she heard a small sound from her window, it was a tiny “ping” and she remembered that he had used to get her attention by throwing pebbles at the window when they were elflings. She got a robe on and walked over the balcony, pretended to be trying to catch some fresh air if somebody were watching but the chances of that happening were slim. The servants were gathered in their quarters and she knew that her mother had gone to bed early, rather exhausted by her intense emotions. He was just a shadow underneath the canopy of the huge elm which grew beside the house, she felt her heart beating a bit faster. This was just like it had been back then so long time ago or perhaps not exactly as it had been. They were adults now, the scandal if they were spotted would be much worse. He did climb the branches as if he was a squirrel, and it was a bit strange to see such a huge and strong person climb that swiftly. He had a fleeting elegance which was mesmerizing to say the least. He jumped the last few feet from the branch and onto the balcony floor, without making a sound. “The tree has grown a lot, the gap was wider before” 

She giggled. “No, it is you who have grown, the gap is the same as it always has been” 

He did smile and she got a warm and a bit fuzzy feeling in her chest watching it, she felt very safe now, and comforted. He sat down on her couch after having turned down the lights, only starlight came inn through the window now and nobody would be able to see that she wasn’t alone. He tilted his head. “I will send a message tomorrow, requiring that you come to visit, with your mother. I am prepared to impress the very daylights out of her” 

Manya had to snicker. “That is rather easily done I fear, she is very shallow” 

Rog made a vague gesture. “Yeah, I remember that. She did always suck up to those above her”

Manya did sigh, “Yes, that is her weakness, she does truly and honestly believe that wealth equals a good heart and a honest spirit.” 

Rog scoffed. “Yeah right, believe me, nobody is immune to corruption and the rich ones less so than most. I saw some horrendous examples back in Ennorath. “ 

She sat down next to him, they were in a very dark corner of the room and she did barely see him but it was alright, they had done this so many times before. Sat there in the darkness, just talking. Their small chats had of course been rather innocent and childish, they had after all known so very little about the world. “Tell me about Ennorath?” 

He leaned back against the couch. “There is a lot to say, and even more to tell. You need to be more specific” 

She pouted. “Was it as pretty as Aman?” 

He took a deep breath. “Yes, and no. In some ways it was way more splendorous than Aman and in other ways it fell short. It was wild though, vibrant. Danger was ever present, even within the cities.” 

She nodded. “You did mention trolls, and orcs? Did you see any dragons?” 

Rog chuckled. “Yes, a firedrake. It did wreak havoc upon our walls and defences. Those goddamn beasts were among the worst things Morgoth came up with” 

She bit her lower lip. “They say that the evil ones were…tempting. Is that true? I mean, I would guess that the dark lords would be horrible to look at” 

Rog took her hand gently. “I understand what you are saying Manya but no, they were not horrible to look at. As a matter of fact both Morgoth and Sauron could be deceptively fair, beacons of beauty in a world of grotesque and absurd beings. They loved the contrast” 

Manya swallowed hard. “You…were forced to work for them, in the mines?” 

He did hesitate. “Manya, I do not really want to speak of this to you but I feel that I have to. I have to be honest with you. I was a damaged fëa and I still am, Namo cannot erase everything one has been through without erasing the very soul itself. “

She held the huge warm hand and felt it shake ever so slightly. “You have problems still?” 

He nodded slightly, she could see that the odd eyes were dark. “Yes, I have…dreams. And I tend to react rather abruptly to certain things. The society here in Aman is terribly naïve, and very judgemental. But that judgement is based upon ignorance and a lack of understanding, an innocence which I do envy them all.” 

Manya felt the warmth from him and leaned a bit closer, it felt very intimate to sit there like that, in the darkness. “What do you mean?” 

Rog caressed her hand. “The mines were a terrible place Manya, death was a regular visitor and the torment and agony you could witness and experience was beyond description. And yet that wasn’t the worst part of it, by far” 

She tilted her head. “Oh?” 

He leaned forth a bit. “The dark lords wanted more slaves, so they did their best to ensure that the numbers were kept high at all times. Orcs are brutal and strong and all that but they aren’t very smart, and they tend to be hard to discipline. They wanted elves and well, it was getting very hard to catch new ones” 

Manya didn’t understand, she just frowned and Rog took a deep breath again. “The strong and pretty were often chosen to be breeding slaves, before they were sent off to the mines, or to the pits to become fighters, for the entertainment of the lords.” 

Manya gasped. “How is that possible? We are elves, not animals?” 

He made a vague gesture. “Yes, but they had found ways around that. Drugs, magic. And believe me, when the alternative is being killed in manners most vile you do what you have to do.” 

She felt her mouth to dry. “Did you…?!” 

He nodded sternly. “Yes, I was tall and strong and talented, they wanted more like that. So I was brought up to the cells used for that sort of thing and chained there. I stayed there for Eru knows how long, until they needed more fighters and I was sent off to train, by then I felt so much hatred I became something they later learned to fear.” 

Manya felt conflicted, but a part of her did understand. Oh how she did understand. “You didn’t protest?” 

He made a sort of hollow laughter. “Oh I tried to, at first. They gave you this drug you see, it made your body burn with need but it didn’t really cloud your mind, you still knew right from wrong. If you had a strong will you could resist the effect rather well, and I am nothing if not strong willed.” 

He stretched his legs, sighed. “They got that filth into me, and then they hauled some young female up to the cell, told me to do it or else.” 

She held her breath. “And you did it?” 

He made a grimace again. “Oh I did try to resist, I refused to even touch her. The huge orc captain in charge of the slaves did just grin and dragged her out again. Then he let the orcs there rape her, until she bled out on the floor in front of me. After that I didn’t resist anymore” 

Manya felt nauseous. “Oh Eru!”

He nodded and his face was hard to see in the dark but she could sense that he was very sad. “At least I would be gentle if I could, and that was my comfort. I didn’t act like some goddamn orc. “ 

She took a deep breath. “Who were they, the females you had to…you know?”

Rog was quiet for a few seconds. “Of all ages and tribes I guess, young and old, rich and poor. All terrified and in shock, unable to understand. I guess the avarin ellith were the toughest ones, they did understand more than the more civilized ones.” 

Manya blinked, she had a hard time even imagining such a situation. “They were different?” 

He patted her hand. “Yes, warriors all. The noldorin nis the bastards managed to capture usually died rather fast, no matter what. The shock was too great for them. “ 

Manya felt a question forming, one she couldn’t push aside. “So…you may have…children?” 

He looked down. “I do have offspring Manya, most of those who are alive are in Ennorath still, some are in the halls and a couple are here in Aman” 

She held her breath. “Have you…met them?” 

He shook his head. “No, I don’t want to place that burden on them. They did die very young, before they had time to really understand their situation and they deserve good normal lives, not to live knowing they were the result of Gorthaur’s sick and twisted breeding program. They have been returned as children, given to very loving couples.” 

He straightened his back again. “I bred well, strong offspring which were valuable so they were taken relatively good care of. But to an elf born in Angband the very idea of Aman is simply too much. They resent the valar, blame them for their misery.” 

Manya nodded slowly. “I can see that, it must be hard to handle that the valar didn’t come to their rescue before it was almost too late” 

Rog caressed her hand slowly. “It was too late for many. I bet Namo was sweating like a pig at times, knowing so many of his visitors could have been saved.” 

Manya had to giggle, it was not very respectful to think of the doomsman in such a setting but she couldn’t help it. Rog did not let go of her hand. “I was thinking of you very often, the memory of you was pure, so very precious” 

She had to blush. “I was thinking of you too, before…that idiot” 

Rog caressed a lock of her hair. “I still cannot understand how he could have treated you with such cruelty. Most elves aren’t that sick. Are you sure he wasn’t some reborn orc?” 

Manya had to laugh. “Oh, that would explain a lot wouldn’t it?”

Rog snickered. “Indeed, some of those have been returned to life and you know, not even Namo can keep track of all the souls, that some deviant ones slip through the net is inevitable.“

He took her hand again. “There are gonna be some interesting reactions when the news of our engagement reach everybody. But do not pay any heed to it Manya, it will die down eventually” 

She smiled. “I know, there are rumours flying about me already so why bother with a few new ones?” 

He sent her a wide grin, it was very soft and his eyes were very friendly. “That is my brave girl, now, I better get back before it gets too late but be prepared for an invitation. And remember to act the part, we have barely met and you don’t know me at all” 

She giggled. “Alright, I will remember that” 

He kissed the back of her hand. “I would have loved to kiss you for real, but I fear what that may start off. So I bid you a good evening my sweet one, and I hope your dreams will be pleasant” 

She squeezed his hand back. “Likewise” 

He got up and petted the top of her head before he walked out of the balcony door and jumped back onto the branches. He was gone like a shadow and she could still smell him and felt how her heart was beating fast. Her hand was warm where he had held it and for a moment she did regret that she hadn’t hugged him. 

She got back to bed and thought about what he had told her. The elves of Aman did probably fail to understand what the elves of Ennorath had been through, and she knew exactly how overly pious and holy some of them were. A sort of determination did grow within her. If anybody tried to look down upon him for having been a slave she would forget about good manners and proper behaviour and tell them a few well chosen truths.


	2. In lust and in rage...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Manya and Rog seem to be able to get the future they so much wish for but still there are shadows of the past...reaching into their lives...

The next day an invitation did indeed arrive, and Inwis was so excited she was spinning like a top. Manya did try to relax but she was very curious about his property and what she would see. A wagon would come to pick them up the next day and Inwis did command Manya to bathe and she even called for a nis who did specialize in creating amazing hair dos. Manya just sat there and smiled and was just as obedient and humble as Inwis preferred, knowing the truth was such a thrill. She had her nails done and Inwis went through her entire wardrobe at least three times to pick the perfect outfit. Manya had to sleep with her head wrapped in some sort of hat the entire night so her hair wouldn’t lose its shine and she was awakened very early so she had time to eat before the servants were to prepare her. Inwis was wearing a rather humble and simple gown but Manya had to wear a dress which was both heavy and uncomfortable. It did look gorgeous but it did restrict her movements. The blue colour did suit her well though, Inwis was good at finding colours which did match the person and Manya had to admit that she did look very good. 

The wagon did arrive just on time, a rather large and elegant thing pulled by two stunning chestnut horses. Inwis was already impressed and Manya pretended to be overwhelmed so she didn’t have to speak that much. Inwis was not very good at judging people, Manya had seen that many times now and she wondered why her mother had become so very naïve. It was probably the way she had been brought up, she had never had the chance to really mature. The property lay to the north of the city and they drove through a vast landscape covered with orchards and vineyards. Here and there they saw herds of cattle and sheep and some of horses and Manya did see a rather gorgeous mansion appear over a hill. It was impressive and the area very rich when it came to resources. She had a hard time believing that this was his realm but she saw his mark on the front gate and had to blink a few times out of sheer disbelief. When he said he had been given a grand property he hadn’t exaggerated at all. 

The wagon did enter a large and very pretty yard surrounded by lovely brick buildings and she saw that it was very green there, there were plants and trees everywhere and some dogs ran by, barking and wagging their tails. A ner came to welcome them and Manya did recognize him, it was Tancarion and she was grateful that he had managed to find so much filth regarding her former suitor. He was dressed like a butler and offered Inwis his arm, acting like a very well behaved noble man. “Follow me madam, the lord of the house is expecting you”

Inwis was staring at everything with huge eyes and Manya could understand her, this was many levels above them socially. The building they were lead into was stunning and very elegant and they entered a large combined livingroom and library. Manya felt her heart hammering, she had to act her part now. Rog stood by the fireplace, he had a goblet in his hand and he turned around as he heard them. He bowed elegantly and Manya didn’t have to pretend to be blushing. He did look stunning. The clothes were discrete but the quality did reveal the value of everything and he had pulled his hair back and braided it into a very tight and elaborate design. He wore a wide circlet made from what had to be mithril and there was a row of deep green emeralds along it. It did make his eyes look very pale and she realized that it was done on purpose. He was very hard to recognize this way and the cut of the robes he wore made him look even taller and more wide shouldered than normal. He did grasp Inwis hand very elegant and kissed it. “Madam, I am thrilled by your presence. And your daughter’s of course. Manya was it?” 

She had to curtsey, and did so without losing her balance, which was nothing short of a miracle. “Yes my lord. We are honoured by your request” 

He did wave his hand as if it was nothing. “It is my pleasure, I couldn’t get your fair face out of my mind after our little encounter. I trust you suffer no ill consequences from it? Being scared by something like that can be devastating for such a fragile being” 

He was speaking to please Inwis, it was all a charade and Manya did smile, a shy and careful smile. “No, I am really fine, again, thank you for saving me” 

Inwis was staring at him as if he was one of the valar themselves, she did almost look smitten by him and he did gesticulate towards the couch by the wide windows. “Come, let us talk. I know that your circumstances are somewhat unusual but I am glad they are, you will be perfect for this household” 

Inwis did blink, her eyes were a bit confused there and then, Manya tried not to laugh for her mother did remind her of a very determined ewe the servants had brought home once, it was the same empty expression within the eyes. “Forgive me for being intrusive my lord but why Manya? You know of our circumstances so..,” 

Rog just smiled. “I am not put off by that madam, I know that her former husband chose to go into the service of the valar and it is indeed a grand and humble sacrifice.” 

Inwis made some odd grimaces. “But I am sure there are unwed maidens out there who would be more than willing to wed you?” 

Rog nodded. “And I have had enough of them thank you very much. I want an adult nis, ready to do her duties and lead my household, not some youth with her head up in the skies and an lack of real experience. Besides, Manya here is such a beauty” 

Inwis did beam with pride. “She is, and yes, Nullaron did indeed make a noble sacrifice but I must say that he never was that much of a husband, a little bit lazy I would say”

Manya had to pretend to be straightening her bodice to hide her shock, Inwis was actually blaming Nullaron for something? This had to be the most spectacular day ever. Rog just shrugged. “So I did chose Manya here for several reasons, and I am sure that I can make her very happy here” 

Inwis did bite her lower lip. “If she is to stay here, what about our property?”

Inwis hadn’t thought that much of this, the fact that a lord wouldn’t want to move to their far more humble abode and he wouldn’t need to either, he already had this gorgeous mansion. He made a polite nod. “You are of course to stay there if you like and run the household like before, I will appoint one of my most experienced servants to run the business for you. I promise you, you will not suffer any ill effects of this marriage, you will be the mistress of your own household and you may run it the way you like” 

Inwis did gape for a few seconds, it was a very generous offer and it would allow her to lead a very elegant lifestyle. Manya did guess that she already was planning on hosting parties for the more important members of the upper classes. With a lord as a law son that was very possible. “We are most grateful my lord” 

Rog just shrugged. “It is my pleasure after all, so, over to the practical things. Normally an engagement is to last a year but Manya is no maiden and has been married before. To spare her from the rumours and gossip I will suggest that we do get married within two months. I have heard the things people say about her and I would very much like to put all that nonsense to rest” 

Inwis almost gasped. “Two months my lord? That is very…fast” 

Rog nodded firmly. “It is, it is very fast but I can take care of everything madam, you will not have to worry about anything concerning the wedding” 

Inwis swallowed, her eyes were still huge. “That is…most generous of you my lord” 

Rog smiled at Manya, his eyes held some mischief. “Maybe, this house do need a woman’s touch, and like I said, Manya is lovely enough to be worthy of my status” 

Manya knew that she was supposed to say something so she held her gaze low and smiled. “I am most grateful” 

Rog reached over and grasped her hand, kissed it gently. “And so am I, such an exquisite beauty” 

Inwis appeared to be having a hard time thinking clearly. “So, what are we to do as preparations?” 

He tilted his head and looked almost royal there and then. “I will send my servant over to get familiar with the business and some workers to upgrade your home. And I will take care of the wedding preparations, fear not. It will be grand.” 

Inwis did look rather stupid, she wasn’t aware of it for if she was she would have tried to get a grip on herself. “Truly, it is more than we could ever hope for.” 

Rog got up. “I do wish to present her as my fiancée in a few days time, there is a feast at the court and I will send some things to her. She is to arrive in style” 

Inwis nodded, her eyes were shining. Having her daughter presented at the court was a sure way to get her showered with attention. “How wonderful” 

Manya swallowed, the court? She had never been there, the normal way to do things was to present the daughters of the rich and noble at a feast in spring the year they came of age. But she had never been a debutant, her parents had found Nullaron before she had time to go through this ceremonial presentation onto the marriage market. Rog caressed her hand lightly. “Do not worry my sweet one, I will be there” 

Inwis probably found this romantic and all that but Manya had her doubts. It would be rather harrowing if people knew who she was and what she had been through, and what others said about her. Rog helped Manya get up, then he found a ring from his pocket and placed it on her finger, it felt odd having something there again but this ring she would wear with gladness. “I will send for her, and I assure you, your property and the business is in the best of hands” 

Inwis did curtsey. “I am sure it is my lord” 

The tall ner who had escorted them into the house did follow them out again and Inwis was breathing hard. “Two months, oh Eru, this is wonderful. We are saved”

Manya just smiled sweetly, Inwis should have known exactly how saved Manya truly was by this. The trip back home went well, and Inwis did run around giving orders, preparing the house for the servant who was to arrive. She wanted everything to be impeccable. 

Manya did retreat to her rooms, she claimed to be tired and it wasn’t really a lie, so much was happening she had to lay down and rest while thinking about it all. Becoming Rog’s wife would be an enormous change in oh so many ways. Nullaron had never allowed her to really do her job, he did take all the decisions including those which normally was left to the wife. She had been a thing, a stupid brainless servant and he had not allowed her to make any decisions on her own. He would even decide what clothes she was to wear. But this made her wonder if she was capable of ruling a household at all. She laid there and kept thinking for a long time before she fell asleep. 

The next day the ellon Rog had appointed for the job arrived, he was a veteran of the war of wrath and a half noldo half sinda who did look rather intimidating with his deep dark grey hair and dark eyes. But he had a kind smile and a very polite demeanour and his voice was soft and pleasant. His name was Rhawaron and he was working within the local banking system normally. Manya did like him immediately and Inwis did curtsey and tried to find out just what he would do and what tasks he would leave to her. Apparently Rog wanted the entire estate transformed, the garden had suffered since Inwis was left there on her own and the buildings did need some maintenance. Manya was happy that Rhawaron did include Inwis, that took her mind away from the wedding and the presentation. 

Manya felt nervous but she knew she had been trained well, she could cope. At least she hoped that she could, as long as nobody started to act in a less than polite manner. Rog held his word, he did send some things to her and she was shocked. The dress he did send her didn’t look at all like the dresses most nisi wore at court, the fashion called for light and flowing fabrics with little colour and discrete details. The dress he had gotten her was made from a fabric which was far from transparent, it was heavy and tightly woven, with embroideries and it had a deep blue colour which did match her eyes perfectly. And over the blue fabric was a very thin veil like fabric woven with the thinnest silvery silk you could imagine, making the dress shimmer like moonlight upon a calm lake. The jewellery did match also, lapis and onyx and diamonds and Inwis was gaping when she saw it all. Manya would stand out and in a very elegant way. There was nothing frivolous about the dress, she would look majestic and poised, like a queen. 

The feast was something many did look forwards to and Manya just hoped that she could get through this without throwing shame onto her name. Inwis had called for a very good hairdresser to come and take care of Manya’s thick locks and the result was to die for, with the dress and the jewellery on she did look like a stranger, a person she simply didn’t recognize. A wagon came to pick her up and she just prayed that she would get through this evening. Rog did enter the wagon as they were to drive through the city gates, he did wear robes which did match hers perfectly and he did look sombre and yet very elegant. He did kiss her hand and winked at her. “I have a reputation for being a recluse and a person who cares naught about being social so let us maintain that impression dear” 

The great hall was packed with elves from the upper levels of society and she saw that there were representatives there from all the groups. She had never liked the fashion of the court, the dresses were just too revealing and her curvy figure did look plump in them, but this dark dress with its elegant cut and stricter style fit her perfectly and showed her off without in any way making her look cheap. Rog did hold her elbow politely and leaned over, whispering to her. “Whatever happens, follow my lead” 

She just smiled, feeling her heart hammer in her chest. The carriage had stopped right outside of the main entrance and several Ellyn wearing uniforms were placed along the stair as guards. Manya took a deep breath, this was it. Rog was walking with a calm elegance and the main hall was right behind the first of the huge doors, Rog did deliver a small card to the elf by the door and then they waited for a few moments. The card was given to an ellon in an almost ridiculously bedazzled uniform and he did turn to the crowd and rammed the cane he held into the floor, to get everybody’s attention. “Lords and ladies, may I present to you. Lord Rog of Gondolin and his lovely fiancée, lady Manya of the vanyar.” 

The room went quiet, everybody were staring and Rog whispered. “Smile, don’t let them intimidate you. Let me do the speaking” 

Manya managed to smile, a well practiced empty grin which didn’t reach her eyes but that was common for everybody there. She heard the women chattering lowly, they were staring at her dress and she remembered to keep her head up high and look self confident. They walked down the stairs and Rog did lead her with him towards some couches, a couple of Ellyn sat there and it was obvious that he knew them. They both got up and stared at Manya. “Rog, you old goat, you didn’t tell me that you had found a diamond among pearls!”

Rog snickered. “You didn’t listen Ecthelion, that is typical for you” 

The ellon in question was tall but not as tall as Rog and of a more slender build, he did look younger and more jolly than Rog. The other one was shorter still and a bit dark of skin, he did bow politely. “I am most pleased to meet you my lady. I am Duilin of Gondolin” 

Manya remembered how to curtsey and Rog patted her shoulder. “You keep your fingers off of her remember? I can clearly recall how you tried to get into the skirts of every pretty nis you saw back in Gondolin” 

Duilin just snorted. “You remember it wrong, I was just being friendly” 

Manya did realize that these Ellyn were good friends and knew each other well. Rog held her hand. “If anything happens you can always trust these two, they were among my best friends and still are and they will keep an eye out for you.” 

Echtelion did clear his voice and rolled his eyes in the direction of one of the entrances, Rog seemed to freeze for a second but kept his smile, he held her hand tightly. Manya saw a very tall ellon with long black hair and a sort of crown who walked towards them, flanked by a very pretty blonde nis and some Ellyn who had to be servants. Rog whispered to her. “Turgon, former king of Gondolin, Remember to show reverence, a lot of it” 

Manya did realize what he meant, this was an ellon who was rather full of himself and expected everybody to admire him. So she took on her most innocent and admiring expression and did curtsey so deep she almost hit her knees on the floor. Turgon did stare at her and Rog, his face did reveal some slight confusion. “So, you have gotten yourself a nis Rog, wonderful. I was starting to wonder about you back then” 

Rog smiled, but Manya felt him tensing up. “This was my childhood sweetheart, I was just praying for us to be together, finally. And now we are” 

Turgon just scoffed but his wife did smile, and it was a real and warm smile. “Oh how romantic, she is lovely dear, such beauty” 

Turgon sighed and just walked on and Rog relaxed visibly. Ecthelion did make an obscene gesture behind his back and Duilin did snicker lowly. “That uptight old arse still believes that everybody owes him something.” 

Manya frowned. “Is he really that bad?” 

Rog did lead her over to the couch. “Yes, he is. But he isn’t king anymore now, and his father had been returned so he keeps the moron on a tight leash. And his wife is also helping a lot, she manages to teach him some humility, on a daily basis or so we have been told” 

Some musician started playing a flute and others did join in, many were dancing by now and Rog bowed slightly. “I guess it is anticipated of us to dance, may I?” 

Manya blushed. Nullaron had never danced with her, not even once. She had learned it though and she took his hand and let him lead her onto the dancefloor. The dress was heavy but not uncomfortably so and it gave her a dignity the other nissi there lacked. To the others watching the couple did seem poised and elegant, in control and very beautiful. 

Manya did in fact enjoy herself, she did love dancing and Rog was an amazing dancer, they did move as one and the music was great too. She didn’t want this to end but after a while the music did stop and the couples did return to their seats. Manya and Rog sat down next to Echtelion, Manya was sitting between them and they sat there chatting when a nis walked by, she stared at Manya with an expression of disgust and then she tried to pull one of the combs out of Manya’s hair. “Sluts shouldn’t dress like ladies”

Rog reacted so swiftly it shouldn’t have been possible even for an elf, suddenly the nis had her hand caught in an iron grip and she just gaped and stared. Rog was staring at her with a gaze which could have scared a balrog to death, he sneered and growled at her. “Touch my fiancée again and I will crush your hand” 

The nis squealed and ran off the moment Rog let go, he did stare after her. “Bitch!”

Echtelion sighed and smiled at Manya, the smile was almost apologetic. “I am sorry, some here are too full of themselves I fear” 

Rog looked like a thundercloud. “Yeah, they have no idea of what suffering is” 

Manya tried to smile but her lips felt a bit stiff. “I can handle it, I truly can, it is no big deal” 

Rog did caress her cheek with a calloused finger. “It is a big deal, they show a lack of respect which is horrible” 

Echtelion grunted and shook his head. “You are of course right, they have no right to judge. Neither of these peacocks were brave enough to leave for Ennorath, and none of them has ever shed a drop of blood to defend anyone.” 

Some servants were carrying around trays with small cookies and Rog got them some, they were in bright colours and sprinkled with sugar and Manya knew how expensive that was. Echtelion did grin. “Do never allow elflings to eat something like this, they will bounce of the walls for hours.” 

Manya frowned. “What?” 

Rog had to snicker. “Don’t listen to him, it isn’t literal at all, but it gives a lot of energy and the little ones are after all small so they feel the effect very well.” 

Manya smiled back, she could imagine the effect indeed. “I see” 

Rog also got them some wine and it was very crisp and fruity and Manya did enjoy it a lot, she hadn’t been allowed to drink much wine before, only when it would look odd that she didn’t. Nullaron had really tried to deny her any and all pleasure. Rog and Echtelion were discussing horses, Rog was breeding some bloodlines and Echtelion had heard of a stallion which was for sale and supposedly exactly what Rog was looking for and Manya did try to pay attention to the conversation. She knew next to nothing about horses, she had of course learned how to ride but only in a side saddle and only when there were no other option. Inwis had always been adamant that riding was something no real lady would bother with and Manya had been very tempted to just grab a horse from the stable and ride out more than once. Duilin had excused himself and was chatting with some other Ellyn and it was obvious that he was setting his sights on a group of very lovely young nissi not far away from him, he was turning his charm up to max.   
The two males were relaxing and enjoying themselves and Manya did like the friendly tone between them, the slight teasing and shows of trust and affection. Nullaron had never allowed anyone to make jokes on his behalf, he would have blown a fuse for sure. She wondered why he had chosen to serve Namo, could it be that he preferred to have plenty of people to boss around instead of just one? In that case she was rather sure that the vala would find a place to toss him rather fast. Somewhere nasty and dark and boring. 

There was some more dancing and she did dance with Rog again and a little with Echtelion who had a fondness of adding all sorts of odd moves to the dance just to make her laugh and she ignored the others there. Some did stare at her and she tried to just keep her head up high and pretend as if they weren’t there at all. She was returning to Rog when she did notice that he was speaking to a nis, and his face was like cut from stone, a sure sign that he was angry. The nis wasn’t young, she was probably a lady from the upper classes and Manya did come from behind so the female didn’t hear her at all. The nis was obviously trying to make Rog change his mind about Manya and chose her daughter instead. As the nis said, Manya was after all “well used” and he would most certainly prefer a pure bride?

Rog saw that Manya did approach and she saw him make a gesture to make her stay where she was. He did smile, a very nasty smile indeed. “I appreciate the offer but you see, I was a breeding slave in Angband, forced to copulate with unwilling females all the time. My bedside manners are to say the least not very pleasant due to this so yes, I prefer a woman of experience who can handle it. Your precious little angel wouldn’t survive one night with me!” 

The nis did squeal, her eyes like teacups and her mouth open, she probably had a very hard time even imagining something like that and Rog sent her a wolfish grin. “My Manya knows what I went through, so you can tell the other eager moms that I’d rather marry an orc than one of their prissy little maidens” 

Manya had to gape, she had never imagined that Rog could be that mean but it was probably needed and she realized fully how changed he had become. The nis did sprint off as if her skirts were on fire and Manya had to snicker. “She didn’t like that?”

Rog sent her a wry grin. “No, these females are so protected and shielded they probably enter the marriage bed knowing nothing about males at all” 

Manya did make a grimace. “Yes, you are right.” 

His face fell. “Oh I am sorry, I forgot…forgive me” 

She just waved him off. “Don’t be sorry Rog, I am over it, it is done with” 

He did lean over and whispered in her ear. “I can promise you that our wedding will be very different indeed” 

Manya had to blush, she had no doubt that Rog would be very different from Nullaron. Around them the party was getting a bit more rowdy, the wine was strong and it went to some’s head. Rog did nod at Echtelion and grasped Manya by the hand. “I think we will find someplace where we can be alone, this ruckus will only get worse and I don’t think Manya should be exposed to it” 

She saw that some were dancing around on the tables and a couple of nissi were showing way more skin than what was considered appropriate. Echtelion did snicker. “The master of the wine cellar must have taken the wrong bottles, this wine was stronger than it ought to be.” 

Manya gaped. “Is that even possible?” 

Echtelion did scoff. “Oh yes, sometimes the bottles have the wrong label, and other times, well, some servants have a tendency to get back at the stuffy lords by making them make fools of themselves. I remember when Fëanor’s son Curufin got married, his youngest brothers did mix some very strong moonshine into the punch bowl and by Eru, that party did take off like one of the great eagles.” 

Rog shook his head. “I bet” 

They walked towards one of the side rooms and it was a library, with plenty of couches and tables. Rog sat down and sighed. “I have already made the first arrangements for the wedding, I have very good co-workers and they have perfect control. But is there anything you wish for? Something I should remember?” 

Manya did blush again. “I don’t want one of those silly white dresses!”

Rog grinned wryly. “I thought so, so, what colour do you want?”

She pouted, had to think a bit. “I am not sure?” 

He did cock his head. “I think gold and green and purple would look amazing on you” 

She blushed deeply. “Thank you” 

He kissed her hand. “I will make sure that you get a dress everybody will envy” 

Manya remembered her first wedding, to be honest the dress she wore made her look like a marengue cake and the colours had also made her look very pale, almost colourless. It had not been a good choice but it was Inwis who had picked the dress and the hairdo and the make up and all. She could not believe how naïve she had been back then. 

Rog sat there and spoke of the property he now owned and everybody who worked there, most were elves he had known also in Gondolin and others had joined his house when they returned to Aman. The ones who fell with him in the battle were already there and since they were all regarded as heroes and were excellent blacksmiths he had a lot of power. He did describe Gondolin and the life there and suddenly Manya realized that it was very late and the party had slowed down a lot out in the hall. The musicians were packing away the instruments and the servants were walking around trying to clean off the tables. Rog took her by the hand. “I better get you back home now, it is very late and your mom will be worried.”

Manya nodded but she didn’t really want to leave, she felt so relaxed and safe there with him, listening to him was soothing. The wagon was ready and they left the palace slowly, there were other carriages there too and some of the drivers weren’t all that good. Rog laughed at one in special who almost lost a wheel against one of the huge stone ornaments outside of the gate. Manya started to feel tired now, the excitement had worn off and she was looking forwards to a nice stay in bed and some deep sleep. Rog did caress her chin. “You did look splendorous today my dear, I will be the envy of so many Ellyn from now on” 

Manya blushed and he did lean inn closer . “May I?” 

She realized that he asked if he could kiss her and she nodded with some uncertainty. Nullaron had never kissed her, not even once. The kiss at their wedding had been a mere peck at the edge of her mouth. This however was very different, he was gentle and yet demanding and she surrendered to it with a feeling of this being something she had been waiting for her whole life. The feeling was so intense, it make her gasp and place her arms around his neck, just for support. She felt it all the way down to her toes or so it felt. The kiss lasted and deepened and he did hold her close, she felt the heat from his body and he was so very real and solid against her hands. No touch from Nullaron had ever felt like this. He did break the kiss and smiled at her, his eyes dark. “I wish we could continue this my dear, somewhere private, but you are not ready for it yet. You need to relearn everything, start at scratch again” 

He did lean inn and kissed her neck lightly, underneath her ear, it made her hiss. “See? You are a person with a lot of sensuality I feel but it has been pushed aside and ignored”

She swallowed hard and nodded. “Nullaron never cared about what I felt, at all” 

Rog did look sad. “I am sure he was a reborn orc, no ellon acts like that if he is sane. Your feelings and your pleasure should come first” 

She felt shy but had to get it off her chest. “He…he didn’t care about pleasure at all, just dominance, and pain” 

Rog lifted her face towards him again, the intense eyes were kind. “I see, and I assure you my sweet one, I would never do that to anybody” 

The carriage had hit the main road and picked up speed and Rog pulled her into tight hug. “I will return to your room, in a few days. And then I will show you a little of what that creep stole from you” 

Manya had to gasp and she giggled, feeling a surge of nervous energy. “I…” 

Rog leaned his forehead against hers. “I want to undo the damage, to awaken you, the way it should have been done. I want to teach you about the joys of the flesh, properly”

Manya felt her cheeks burn. “I…I will be waiting for you” 

He did kiss her hand and there was a small devil dancing in the green eyes. “I am sure you will” 

The road was even and she did lean against him now, tired and yet excited. She knew that the things Nullaron had done were wrong but she had hardly believed those who said that these things were supposed to be enjoyable. Now she realized that maybe that was true after all. She wasn’t afraid of Rog, not the way she had been afraid of her husband. She was almost asleep when the carriage stopped in front of her home and some servants came to help her get back inside. Rog did kiss her cheek and winked at her. “Remember, in a few days” 

Inwis was waiting for her indoors, she was very excited and wanted to hear about everything and Manya had decided to just ask her to wait until the morrow, she was just too tired. Inwis wasn’t too happy about that but Manya was pretty determined now. She got the help of a maid to get rid of the dress and the jewellery and then she went to bed, completely exhausted.   
The next day Rog sent over several bouquets of flowers, and Manya had to sit there and explain everything to Inwis over and over again. She did leave out the nasty nis who had more or less attacked her or the one who had talked to Rog though. Inwis didn’t need to hear that at all.   
Manya did retreat to the garden and Inwis was busy making plans for the balls she was sure she would hold after the wedding. Everything was rather quiet for a couple of days, then one of Inwis relatives did come to visit, a rather young nis Manya happened to actually like. Haladis was very sweet and could act like a perfect lady but she had a streak of mischief and knew how to use the unwritten rules of proper behaviour and turn them completely around. She knew that Haladis had managed to speak her way out of at least two potential marriages to Ellyn she didn’t like at all and Manya had often wished that she was that clever and devious. 

Haladis said she was there to seek Inwis advice about a ner her father had found and Inwis was more than ready to do some snooping around. Afterwards she did seek out Manya and it was revealed that Manya was the one she had really come to speak to. Apparently she had caused quite a stir at the ball and left a solid impression and many were wondering about who she really was. Manya was a bit nervous, she knew that many of the vanyarin families knew who she was already but the noldor and teleri she had to be a stranger and she didn’t really want the people who did look down upon her to be the ones to decide what others felt about her. Haladis was already on it as she said, she had contacts and had spoken to somebody who did work for Rog and there was a whole campaign on the way to change the opinion. Soon everybody would know that Nullaron had been a twisted looser of a ner who saw it as his given right to humiliate and torment his wife and that he now served Namo was probably due to the fact that the doomsman didn’t want that sort of soul walking out there among normal sane elves.

Manya was very grateful, she had worried that the overly pious vanyarin families who saw her as flawed and fallen could tilt the others towards their own ideas but what Haladis said told her that it would be okay. Some would probably still think that Rog married someone way below him but screw them. Haladis told her that the nis Rog had spoken to had been truly scared and now many did believe that he was some sort of deviant and dangerous to their oh so pure and innocent daughters so it was probably for the best that he married a nis who already had known a ner. 

The two sat there and chatted for a while and then Haladis whispered to her that Rog probably would visit her that night. She ought to leave the balcony door open. It was warm now and rather pleasant so it wouldn’t be odd if she did. Manya was glad she had Haladis on her side, that one knew how to navigate the social circles the same way a captain navigates familiar waters. She was also glad that Haladis knew Rog and his people and it could be a good thing to have someone as clever as Haladis on their side now. 

Manya did go to bed early, after a warm bath. She had no idea of what Rog would do and she wondered if this was very smart, after all, she wasn’t alone in the house and the walls weren’t all that thick. Nullaron had been all too fond of being loud, and he had loved to humiliate her also in that manner, to make sure that everybody heard what they were doing. She had almost fallen asleep when she heard the door slide open, it was well oiled so it didn’t really make much sound. The room was rather dark due to the silky curtains and the fact that the room did face away from the sunset and she was glad it did, she could remember when the sun had first appeared and when they got used to it Inwis had complained that it turned the rooms on the other side of the building into saunas. She couldn’t hear him walking but she felt the air move and then the bed moved slightly as he sat down on it. “Manya?”

She whispered back. “I am here yes” 

He moved closer to her, she recognized his scent, she was sure she could recognize that everywhere. “I have been doing a bit of thinking” 

She had to move a bit to the side and he laid down next to her, on top of the covers. “About what?” 

He reached out, caressed her hair. “The things you had to go through, what that piece of crap did to you. I think I have an idea”

She held her breath. “Alright?!”

He took her hand. “Tell me, did he ever ask you to touch him, in any manner?” 

She had to shake her head, she could barely see the contours of him in the darkness and didn’t know if he saw her but she was sure he did. His eyes were probably used to the dark in a manner hers were not. “No, never. He was the one who did the touching, not that I wanted to touch him at all” 

He did laugh a bit. “I see, but do you wish to touch me? You are as unfamiliar with a male body as a nis untouched, I bet you are curious?” 

Manya held her breath for a second. “Ah, well…I saw him, a few times but…” 

He sighed. “You didn’t caress him did you, find what he liked, what you enjoyed. It was all about him dominating you” 

She nodded again. “Yes, I was a thing to him, to use” 

Rog took a deep breath. “Well, I am here now. If we are to get married I think you should get to know me also in that manner. Move to your right a few inches” 

She did obey and he arranged himself on his back. “So, I am at your disposal, you can touch and explore all you want” 

She felt a need to giggle, out of nervous energy. “Seriously?” 

He nodded and caressed her cheek. “Yes, if you are to enjoy what I hope to do you cannot be afraid of me, and if you know my body then…it will be easier” 

Manya held her breath for a second, then she slid herself out of the covers and reached out, tentatively. She felt that he wore only a thin tunic and a pair of very loose thin pants, and he was very warm to the touch. She bit her lower lip. “I think I need some light, wait for a second” 

She slid out of the bed and found a small lamp, she placed it on a table and made sure that the light wouldn’t reach the windows. It was so small it only threw a flickering light over the bed and it was weaker even than a candle but it allowed her to see a bit. He was leaning up onto an elbow and smiled. “Good idea” 

She slid onto the bed again and sat down next to him, he just nodded. “Go ahead” 

She put her hand on his chest, felt the taut muscles and the beating of his heart, steady and yet a bit fast, he wasn’t as calm as he pretended to be. She slid the hand over his shoulders, the muscles there were so solid and large and she felt a bit bolder. “Could you…take it off?” 

He nodded and pulled the tunic off. The skin was almost flawless but in the faint light she could see the thin lines which spoke of scars from his previous life. She followed them with a finger, curious and he closed his eyes, obviously affected by the touch. Manya had always been a bit curious about males, about how their bodies did work but she hadn’t been allowed to sate that curiosity. The fact that he had nipples were among the things which triggered her sense of curiousness and she touched his right one gently. It hardened and that made her pull back and blink, were they as sensitive as her own?   
Rog gasped and sent her a smile. “Yes, males do feel it when you touch those, some feel a lot others less but it can be very…arousing” 

She giggled and her hand returned, almost on its own. The sounds he made when she played with the small peaks made her even bolder and she dared to caress his belly too. The muscles were hard and lean and so strong and he was breathing fast now, there was a thin veil of sweat on his forehead. Manya didn’t know where this sudden urge came from but she felt as if she had to smell him, to really get to know his scent. She leaned over and sniffed his neck, then she reached down and planted a very shy kiss on his chest, why she didn’t know. He held his breath and she did it again, gave the skin a swift lick. He did taste of salt and she liked the taste, she continued to give the nearest nipple a swift peck too and he gasped again, loud this time. “Manya…” 

She giggled but there was a lot of nervousness in that sound, then she let her hand slide downwards, towards the lining of his pants. He held his breath. “Do you want me to take those off too?” 

His voice was hoarse and she hesitated. She wanted to, some part of her was so very eager to get to know more about that part of him and yet she was scared too. Nullaron had never caused her anything but pain with that body part and for some reason she now found that unfair. “Yes, do it” 

He lifted his hips and slid the garment down, he was barefoot and now he was naked on her bed and Manya had to giggle before turning her gaze towards him again. The sight made her gasp, he was hard and she now saw that Nullaron probably was trying to compensate for something for by Eru, this was something quite different from what he had wielded. She hesitated, not sure of what to do, or say. If she really ought to do anything at all. But her curiosity did get the better of her, she reached out, let a finger slide along the shaft, very gently. She almost squealed when it did twitch, and Rog did make a sort of groan. “Did I hurt you?!” 

There was panic in her voice and he shook his head, smiling. The eyes were almost black now and he was breathing even harder. “No, the opposite.” 

She was fascinated though, the skin was like the smoothest satin and yet it was like iron underneath, and he was still that sensitive? Her fingers got bolder, stroked and explored and he started to shiver, heaving for air. “Oh Manya, that…that is right…don’t be shy” 

His reactions made her feel odd, heavy in some sort of new manner, and she realized that she wouldn’t mind it if he did touch her too. She dared to close her hand around it and her fingers didn’t meet but it was very obvious that he liked it, he threw his head back and groaned and his hands did dig into the sheets. There was some sort of clear sticky liquid flowing out of him and he started to lift his hips but then he reached down and stopped her gently. “No, if you continue…the smell…it cannot be hidden that easily and we won’t let the others here know now do we?” 

Manya nodded, biting her lips. She felt naughty, and in an odd way free. It had been most enlightening but she was also a bit confused. If Rog was that sensitive then how was it possible that Nullaron could be that brutal and not hurt himself? She had to ask and Rog sighed and sat up, he was glorious like that, the long silky hair was like a black waterfall down his back. “He was most likely addicted to very harsh stimulation, some become that way if they are…ah…a bit deviant, then the pain becomes part of the pleasure, and they crave it to feel anything at all” 

Manya nodded. “That makes sense I think.” 

Rog took her hand and kissed it reverently. “Yes. So, did this make you feel anything special?” 

She felt a need to hide her face but nodded. “Yes, I…feel warm, and down..there” 

He smiled. “Yes? Do elaborate?” 

Manya knew she shouldn’t feel ashamed, and yet she did. “My heartbeat…and…” 

He tilted his head. “You are wet? That is alright, it is normal” 

She giggled and he gestured for her to lie down, she obeyed but felt a bit uncertain again. He was still rock hard and even though she wasn’t afraid she didn’t want them to go all the way yet, she was a bit worried that her mother would find out if they bonded there and then. Rog kissed her hand again, very gently. “Do not worry my sweet one, I am in control of myself. But I would love to give you some pleasure in return for what you have given me” 

She laughed, it was rather nervous sounding. “Are you sure? I mean…” 

He nodded and pushed himself closer to her. “Yes, do not fear this Manya, Eru gave us bodies to enjoy them.”

He leaned over and kissed her neck and she had to heave for breath, this was different yet again from the kisses he had given her before. It sent her heart racing once more and he did slowly move downwards. She had her shift on and it felt comforting now, like a sort of protection. He didn’t ask her to remove it and he just kissed her skin above the hem. And it was enough, she felt as if she was on fire. There had never been any feelings like this involved when Nullaron was in her bed, not even a hint of it.   
She had to take small peeks at his cock, it did twitch every now and then and she had an odd empty feeling within and knew by sheer instinct that it wouldn’t hurt if he took her now, she was ready and a part of her was eager to have it over with, to be his. But they had to wait, and she pressed her thighs together, moaning. He had found her breasts, kissed the nipples through the thin fabric and it felt insane, bolts of pleasure shot through her and gathered down there and she whimpered and writhed. Rog was panting, his voice was very dark. “Manya, you have such fire, such passion.”

He let a hand slide down, lifted her shift a bit and she didn’t protest, she parted her legs and he smiled against her chest, she could feel it. “Relax, let me show you what this ought to be” 

She swallowed a squeal when she felt his hand cupping her sex and she was barely able to breathe or so it seemed, she had never dreamed that she was this sensitive and it felt…wonderful. Rog whispered to her, calming soothing words and his fingers did find that spot which was the centre of her need and he knew just how to stimulate and tease without it getting too much. Manya gasped his name, those bolts became stronger, reached further, made her legs shiver and her entire body crave something she yet didn’t know. But he didn’t stop, he kissed her cheek, held her close and she surrendered, trusting him completely. 

She was panting, writhing and then it just happened, an almighty wave of sheer ecstasy roared through her entire body and she arched off the bed, his kiss the only thing which did stifle her scream of utter pleasure and shock. Wetness was gushing out of her and she trembled almost violently, seeing only sparks and light. When it did let go of her she laid there heaving for air, feeling like a huge piece of lead. Rog snickered but it was a warm sound, a loving one. “Now, did you enjoy that?” 

Manya had to catch her breath, she still felt herself pulse a bit and she was oddly tender but it was a good feeling, she had to laugh a bit, feeling silly almost. “Yes, oh yes. I never…” 

Rog kissed her reverently again. “I know, but now I have shown you what pleasure is, and I swear to you, at our wedding I will make you scream my name, again and again and I will give you pleasure until you cannot take any more” 

She closed her eyes, feeling heavy still. “Know what? I believe you!”

He snickered and found his clothes, got them back on. He was still hard and the clothes revealed it. She pulled the covers over herself again, slowly. “Isn’t that uncomfortable?”

He nodded with a grin, the boyish look on his face so very charming. “Yes, very much so. But I will take care of it in the bushes somewhere” 

He leaned inn and kissed her again. “I have to leave now, but you will sleep very well, believe me. “ 

Manya had to yawn, damn it, he was most likely very right about that. “Yes” 

He smiled. “I will send some gifts for you soon, and visit as often as I can, and soon you will be free from the past, completely” 

She smiled, in bliss. “Yes, completely”

He did slide out of the door and she tried to stay awake but couldn’t. Her eyelids had turned to lead and before more than a few minutes had gone by she was asleep, overwhelmed by the force of her first climax. 

Rog climbed down the tree and headed into the bushes, he was glad they didn’t keep dogs there, the back garden was a wilderness and nobody would go there at night, he got his pants out of the way and leaned against the trunk of a smaller tree, hiding in the shadows. He stroked himself fast, needing to come and yet not wanting to drag this out more than what was needed. He saw her face, contorting with pleasure and it was enough, he stifled his own roar with a hand as his seed splattered onto the ground and his knees shook. It left him feeling light headed and he had to stand there for a few moments to regain his composure, he was really looking forward to their wedding. Manya was very sensual but it had been bound and abused, held down. 

He leaned against the tree, wiped the sweat from his brow. In a way he was seeking redemption from his own sins, by giving her all he could, erasing the horrors of her past. The things he had done while being a slave…he preferred not to think of it now but he had been as bad as Nullaron on some occasions. He had raped females, more than a few. It was no wonder really, they had kept him in a cell which was little more than a wet and cold cave, chained to the wall by his left ankle. He was naked, not allowed to wash at all since water was so very precious there and when he was given some he was so desperate of thirst he would drink it all. So he was covered with filth, all sorts of it. The long silky hair which had been his pride was just a matted mass and he was sure he had harboured whole colonies of lice and fleas. His skin scabby and raw, cracked here and there too. He had been emaciated and often bloody since the orcs liked to whip him when he refused to take that horrible drug. He had looked like an orc, probably worse even than one of those accursed creatures. 

And when they dragged females up to the bars and they saw him, who could blame them for fighting, for trying to get away from him? He knew what fate awaited them if he didn’t do what he was supposed to so yes, he had forced some. His knowledge of Sindarin had been limited, he had managed to explain to some, to make them understand that there was no choice. Some were experienced, had known a male before and surrendered with a sort of dark resignation. They had lain there, staring at the roof, at nothing while he fucked them and those few seconds of blinding pleasure felt like a betrayal, like he was the worst person alive. He shouldn’t have felt any pleasure at all, but stayed cold since he hurt them this way but there was no way around it, not without risking their lives. 

The untouched ones were even worse, even if he managed to make them understand that it was either him or the orcs they didn’t quite surrender, he did hurt them, there were no way around it. And then there were those who didn’t understand, who refused to accept this.   
Those who tried to fight him off, to flee. But there was no such thing as escape in Angband and in the end he wanted to live, and to give these nissi a chance at life too.   
So yes, he had more or less raped them, forced them down using his superior strength and done it, ignoring their screams and pleas. Sometimes there were orcs present, getting off watching it, he didn’t care, he ignored them. What mattered was that he did do it, that he spilled and made sure that they were safe from the orcs, at least for a while. They could hate him all they wanted but in the end he did save them. 

He knew that the dark lord prevented the souls of the slain from leaving, they would be bound to this place and its horrors forever if the valar didn’t bring the fortress down. The drug enabled him to get an erection and ejaculate, even if he didn’t want to, even if he felt no such thing as lust or even pleasure at times, it was a duty, a means to stay alive. Sometimes they would bring more than one female to him at a time. One or two would have to stand there, being held by orc and watch in horrified silence while he fucked someone else, he did still remember those who had been terrified and unwilling, even when they did understand what he tried to tell them. He felt like a monster, worse than the valaraukar there and then. The orcs would haul away one weeping screaming nis while another one was thrown into the cell and he had to try to calm her down and if he couldn’t, well, then he had to simply act like the animal he looked like and brutalize her. 

Yes, he would redeem himself by treating Manya with all the gentleness and care in the world, in some manners she had suffered just as those females back in Angband did. She had been used as a broodmare and she was lucky Nullaron hadn’t simply disposed of her when she didn’t give him sons. The females Rog had been forced to breed with hadn’t been given a choice at all, it was all about survival. Manya had been in the same situation although it shouldn’t have been that way, it made it even worse to think about. Her tormentor hadn’t been some leering orcs, or a terrified ner forced to fuck in order to stay alive, no, it had been that one person in the world she should have been able to trust the most and it made this so tragic. Nullaron had been utterly twisted and sick and Rog hoped that his paths never would cross those of that creep for if they did… He closed his hands slowly, muscles bulging along his arms, he knew how to kill, almost too well. And a kinslaying could be excused when the kin you slew were naught but an orc in disguise, he was sure the doomsman would understand that rather well. 

Manya did sleep rather well and she even overslept a bit, waking up way later than normal. The maid who came to help her dress woke her up and she came up with a lame excuse about a dream which had kept her awake for a while. She had breakfast and then Inwis wanted her to start sewing some monograms onto sheets, pillow cases and towels and what not. It was custom and she had done it with glee when she was to get married to Nullaron, now on the other hand it did seem as a pointless waste of time, who cared if there were monograms on the sheets, nobody did check that? At least it would help time pass by so she did sit down with her needle and got started, everything to avoid her mother nagging about her not taking things serious enough. 

Over the next days she did receive lots of flowers, and even more gowns and even a whole basket of some rather exotic fruit which only could be found very far to the south of the continent. And letters, sweet letters which held small hidden hints to what they already had done and what they were to do and it made her blush and feel faint each time. Nullaron had never been romantic, not even a bit. 

The ner Rog had sent to get the business in order was doing a great job, he had things running smoothly already and the income was picking up nicely, Inwis was very proud of that and he did often sort of nudge her into giving advice when it came to fabrics and fashion. Manya knew that Inwis was rather caught up in what she saw as proper gender roles but she wasn’t that dumb after all and she knew a lot about these things. The business could benefit from having a female leading that part of it, buying and selling fabrics did depend a lot on the fashions since people were looking for specific colours and accessories and Inwis would be more than able to control that part of the store. Manya did hope that she would see the light eventually and realize that she was capable of way more than just running the household, it would do her good. 

The wedding was getting closer by the day and Rog did drop by for short visits every now and then, never for long since it was hard to disguise that they knew each other but long enough for it to seem natural. He would chat up Inwis to a degree where she forgot all about asking questions and Manya had to hide her smirk more than once. Inwis was used to running a house which was rather large but not overly so, what Manya was about to face was completely different. She was glad she had been well trained, it would be a challenge but luckily Rog had several very skilled helpers who would take care of much of the work.   
The gown he had ordered for her came two days before the wedding., Inwis was spinning around like a top out of sheer frustration since nothing was left for her to do but Manya was glad,  
Inwis had a nasty habit of overdoing things and she didn’t want that at all. The dress was stunning, simple and yet so full of details and it would match her perfectly. The deep green colour and the thin veil of gold embroidered silk which went over it made it look like a dream gown. There were emerald jewellery following it and Manya started to feel that she truly was looking forward to this. It would be salvation in oh so many ways. The night before the wedding some nissi showed up to perform a rite most unusual there in Aman, it was something the avarin elves did and Manya had never encountered it but she found that it fascinated her. Inwis was a bit in doubt but since Rog had ordered it she went with it. The nissi did paint onto Manya’s feet and hands with a thick paste made from a gold coloured powder and it stuck to her skin, making delicate patterns which would match the gown perfectly. Inwis had chosen a gown too, light blue and it was lovely, Manya wondered if Inwis in fact would have been allowed to remarry now, since her father wouldn’t return. It should be possible and Inwis was after all famed for her beauty. 

The day of the wedding did finally dawn, Manya was glad to simply get it over with, her life had been a veritable cyclone of things which needed to be done for the last days and she needed rest and some days far away from her mother. She had to get up really early, her hair and everything was done, the gown was put on and she and Inwis was picked up by a rather grand chariot. Manya’s personal belongings would be driven to Rog’s home that day with another carriage and the servants would stay put to make sure that everything was put into order and that nothing was forgotten. The wedding was to be held in a sacred grove outside of the city, he did claim to be a follower of Orome now and Manya did like that. 

There were quite a few elves present there, some from Rog’s house, some old friends, others were representing families he did trade with. There were a few representatives from the royal families and other noble houses and Manya felt insecure right away but managed to keep her head up high. She knew that she did look stunning now and so did he. He wore clothes to match her gown and Inwis was in awe of the preparations. Haladis had managed to get there too and whispered to Manya that her little tactic had worked, many did now believe that Nullaron truly had been the one failing her not the other way around and she had gained a lot of sympathy. Manya was very grateful, it made her feel a lot better.   
The place was so very lovely and there were tables and food for everybody and yet it wasn’t over the top in any way but classy and elegant. Manya did only have to look at him to feel better, to feel safe and protected and loved and there was some dancing and mingling before one of the maiar there did gather everybody to hear the vows being spoken. Manya had learned hers very well and she didn’t stutter even once as she said them out loud. Rog did the same with a steady warm voice and he did slide the gold ring onto her finger. Manya did let out a sigh of relief, this was it. 

There was feasting and more dancing and she did notice that Inwis was flirting rather vigorously with several of the telerin representatives.

They were unwed and rather handsome and she seemed to enjoy herself a lot. She did receive wedding gifts from a lot of people and some were very nice indeed. Rog too got gifts and Echtelion did show up there with a very nice grey horse from a very valuable bloodline. It was a beautiful day and Manya really felt that it was among her very best days ever, this was what she ought to have had back then. The food was excellent and she did see that the guests had a very good time, even some of the more negative nissi she had encountered before had changed their opinion due to Haladis little scheme and came to congratulate her and before she really knew it was getting late and the sun was setting. Rog had arranged for them to stay at a cabin that night, away from everything, and he had a horse waiting there. Manya was lifted up onto the saddle and he mounted behind her and everybody were cheering as they rode off. Inwis was waving at her and Manya leaned back against Rog and felt truly safe for the first time in a very long time. 

The cabin wasn’t too far away and it was large and rather luxurious, with large rooms and the hearth was lit so it was warm and cosy. She had to walk around a bit, just admiring the furniture and the nice wood carvings. Rog did pour some wine and they shared a goblet, now she started to feel nervous again, she knew that he wouldn’t harm her in any manner and that it would be so different from when Nullaron took her for the first time but her body did remember the trauma and couldn’t quite relax. Rog did kiss her and she felt the taste of the wine on his lips, felt the warmth from him, saw the gentle light within his eyes and her fears did die down yet again. He did kiss her with increasing passion, slowly removing her jewellery, her gown and her small clothes. She did the same to him and the last thing she removed was his hair tie, letting that thick mane of hair fall freely down his back.   
Kisses became caresses, he did lift her and carried her off to the bed and laid her down, started kissing and licking her skin, moving around until she was writhing with sheer need and he used his tongue and mouth to make her come before he took her. Manya was screaming his name, clawing at his shoulders and as he slid into her she felt only need, and love. This was nothing like the pain Nullaron always caused her, this felt right and wonderful and she gasped as he started to move and locked her legs around him, wanting all that he was, all that he had to give. 

Rog moved very gently, following a slow rhythm, and she had to gasp when she felt how he moved within her, how their bodies became one. She let her hands roam along his back, felt how his muscles moved and then she looked down, watched how well those narrow hips fit between her thighs and the sight made her feel almost frantic. Nullaron had preferred to fuck her from behind, he hardly ever bothered looking at her face but Rog did kiss her and whispered endearments and she let her hands slide through the silky veil of dark hair and knew she had been blessed by Eru, why she didn’t know but this was a blessing, as much a blessing as Nullaron’s actions had been a curse. 

Rog lifted himself a bit more, changed his angle and rhythm and she had to squeal in sheer delight, it felt so wonderful she couldn’t even describe it, he seemed to hit some spot withinher which was so very sensitive and each thrust made the bed sway with the force of it and yet that didn’t in any manner hurt her, it just felt natural and his groans the sweetest music she had ever heard. This was a dance, a union of more than just flesh and she just followed him, allowing their very selves to mingle. 

When she reached her peak again he was close behind, roaring as he spilled and she was shocked that she in fact could feel it, gushes of something wet and slightly cool inside. She had never felt that when Nullaron was inside of her, she hadn’t even felt him pulse and with Rog she did, it set her off again, made her arch into him and yell his name again and again, much to his joy. Maybe this was why she never had conceived, that Nullaron had been the infertile one, not her? They rested for a while, words were not needed since they already had said all that was to say, then they repeated it and Manya realized that she had missed out on a whole lot of fun, but now she was going to catch up and do it properly. 

When they fell asleep they laid there like a pile of limbs and hair and both were exhausted and so very sated and so very happy. He called her his little swan and she joked that he was a demon also in bed, not only on the battle field and that made him laugh. The world was a good place now, a place where she had hope. 

They stayed in the cabin for a few days and then they moved into his property and she was welcomed there wholeheartedly by his entire house. There were many hundred elves associated with the house of the hammer now and the numbers were rising every year. Many came there to learn the art of being a decent blacksmith and Rog did also teach the young warriors how to use a war hammer. Not that it was needed at the moment but one day it could come in handy again and she did often sit there to watch him. she had found that she liked the job of being a real house wife now, not just a pretty thing to fuck. She was the one in charge of much of the things which went on there and he taught her how to ride and gave her a lovely cream coloured mare which was perfectly trained as a lady’s horse. 

Manya soon learned that Inwis was holding balls, and she was becoming rather famous for their elegance and style, she had also somehow gotten involved in the trade with fabrics and made a name for herself creating new styles of gowns and Manya did visit her mom and realized that Inwis was in short blooming. She was free and happy and Manya was very glad her mother had found a new interest in life. The servants did snicker and told her that a certain telerin noble man had been seen in the house rather frequently of late and Manya had to laugh. Inwis was probably not going to remain a widow for very long. Haladis did often drop by with the latest gossip and according to her Inwis was head over heels in love, for the first time in her life. The love between her and Manya’s father had been real and true but it had come gradually, as their union had been arranged by their parents. 

Manya and Rog were rarely apart for more than a few hours at a time and they developed a reputation for being passionate, Manya had no inhibitions now and felt no shame and he did love that. She wanted him just as often as he wanted her and it was a wonderful thing, and something which brought out the mischief in them both. They made love everywhere within the house, even in the kitchen and the stables and she just couldn’t get enough of him. it was as if the fire he had ignited simply couldn’t get extinguished. 

Months went by and to Manya her old life was but a bad dream now, a fading memory. She was respected and loved and she knew that Rog never would be anything but the perfect husband for her. Still nobody knew who he had been back then and Manya didn’t care, it was no big deal. Who he was as a young ner and who he was now was two different things, he had a lot of influence now, and power. Inwis did in fact marry that teler and now Manya had a step father who was both kind and a very wise person, he had lost his wife and had been a widower and he and Inwis did fit together in a very nice manner. 

Manya had a huge project going on behind the main building, a large herbal garden and she and the other nissi did work there each day. She wanted it to be complete with both medicinal herbs and edible ones and she spent weeks picking out the right ones. One evening she was working there with one of the other nissi of the household, a thin reedlike vanya named Iliel, she worked in the kitchens and they had been discussing what herbs to choose as spice for the larder, Iliel was a very jolly person and she joked a lot so Manya did like her, the two could banter and have fun and Manya did walk around removing weeds as they spoke about the harvest and the fact that Rog now had acquired some new mares which were to be used for breeding as soon as he got a suitable stallion. 

Iliel did excuse herself for a moment, she had to go and get her basket and Manya continued to pick weeds. She was humming and grinning to herself, she had a small secret she just had discovered and she wanted to tell Rog that evening. Some sort of instinct had to have warned her for she moved onto a different patch and lifted her head, feeling a presence which wasn’t pleasant. Then she heard a squeal from afar and knew immediately that it was Iliel, and that something was very wrong. Manya had a small sickle in her hand, it was all she had to defend herself but it was sharp and she hid it behind her apron, staring around her. 

A figure appeared along the path, and she wanted to scream but couldn’t, she felt as if in a nightmare. It was Nullaron and he did look terrible. The thick golden hair was a mess, shorn short and covered with dirt and he wore rags instead of clothing, he was skinny and dirty and he appeared to have lost several teeth but the worst thing was his eyes. They did shine with a sort of madness she never had seen before. “You…slut”

The words were slurred and he was staggering, he had a knife in his hand and there was blood on it and Manya just knew that it was Iliel’s blood. Had he killed the nis? Oh Eru, what was she to do? Nullaron staggered closer, there was sheer hatred in his eyes. “You married again didn’t you? Some rich moron, but I was just forgotten ha?” 

She held her head up. “You made the choice remember, you had the marriage annulled!”

He sneered, looking like an animal. “Oh I thought I would be important, that I would rule. But I was just a thrall, and if I remarry you nobody can intervene” 

Manya was terrified and at the same time something new awakened within her, a sort of spite, of anger. “Know what, I don’t think so you bastard!”

She moved backwards, there was a patch of herbs there she knew rather well and she pretended to be picking some to put in her pockets. Nullaron screeched, other words couldn’t describe the sound. “I deserve this, the fame and the power and the wealth”

He shot forth, trying to grasp her. Manya was ready, she had kept a couple of the small peppers in her hand, grinding it into a pulp and now she moved swiftly, threw the mass into his face before she turned and ran. The ner screamed, the mass was very strong and Manya knew that the cook used gloves to handle the stuff. It had to burn like hellfire and she ran towards the entrance to the house, screaming all she could. There were ner in the stables and inside of the house and she was almost there when she tripped over a lose rock and fell. 

Nullaron came rushing, roaring with anger and he tried to stab at her but she got up just in time and deflected his arm with the sickle, cut a deep gash in his hand. He screamed again and she ran towards the door but knew that he would catch up with her. She ran around some tall bushes and put her every ounce of energy into a sprint, Nullaron was right behind her but suddenly there was an odd gargling sound and she spun around and watched with huge eyes. Rog stood there and now she did really see why he was named a demon, his eyes were glowing with rage, teeth bared and he held Nullaron with one hand, the grasp around the ner’s neck did almost break it.   
He held Nullaron up so his feet were more than a foot off the ground and Nullaron was gasping and gargling and Rog growled, it made him look and sound absolutely terrifying. “You stinking piece of filth, I ought to dispose of you like the garbage you are but I refuse to make my hands dirty with your blood” 

He tossed Nullaron off, into some gooseberry bushes and the ner shrieked and tried to get up but the bushes had thorns and Manya saw that several servants came running, they grasped Nullaron and hauled him out of the bushes, bloody and torn up and Rog stared at the ner with an expression she was sure was the last thing many orcs had seen. “I think you have escaped from your true master somehow, and I am pretty sure his name was Morgoth, how on Arda you ended up being reborn as an elf is beyond me but let us make sure that the mistake is corrected. “ 

He waved his hand. “Get my stallion, and a mule. I am taking this mad dog back to Mandos, where he truly belongs” 

Nullaron was red in the face and almost drooling with rage but Rog ignored him, went over and kissed Manya gently. “Iliel will be alright, he did not harm her seriously, the healers are with her now. Go and get some rest, I will take care of this thing” 

Manya took a deep breath. “Good, go, make sure he cannot return, ever!” 

He kissed her again and Nullaron was fuming or so it sounded. Some servants tied him up like a ham and threw him over the back of a huge mule and tied him to the saddle and Rog mounted his large black horse and gave the mule a slap over the rump. The animal did take off and Manya ran inside. Iliel was in bed with a bandage across her shoulder and upper chest. The mad elf had tried to stab her but she had worn a very thick cloak and a corset with baleen support rods and it had stopped the blade from going inn deep. She was a bit pale but alright and the healer did ensure Manya that her friend would be okay. 

Manya was pissed off and scared at the same time, she had been so close to losing everything, not that Nullaron would have had any success in his plan but the idea of him forcing her yet again? It made her want to vomit and she was afraid it could have affected her little secret too. She was so grateful Rog had heard her scream and come from the forge. 

She went to bed alone that night and didn’t like it a bit. The next day Rog did return, rather early and he had to explain that he hadn’t had to ride all the way to Mandos to deliver Nullaron. A few maiar had met him on the way, looking for the ner. Nullaron had soon proved to be a complete disaster and he was degraded to being a servant, cleaning rooms and preparing robes for those to be re-embodied. That was beneath him the way he saw it and he had rebelled and caused quite a lot of stir and Namo had come to speak a few words of wisdom to the ner who had refused to listen. 

The maiar had confirmed what Rog had suspected, Nullaron had been an orc, a very early one. Namo had tried to remove the taint from the soul before it was reborn but he hadn’t managed to get all of it and it had festered and grown over the years. Nullaron had escaped, fighting off some guards and then disappearing and the maiar were sure that the fact that somebody there had mentioned Manya being remarried was what had triggered him. But now Namo would remove the fëa from the body and place it in the very depths of Mandos, Alongside people like Fëanor and Maeglin and such. He would never return. 

That evening she told Rog of the happy news when they went to bed and he wept and laughed and wept some more and they laid there for a long time, just embracing. It was like a miracle and Manya just knew that the future from now on would be bright. Her gentle demon would become a wonderful father and Eru help anyone who tried to hurt his offspring and family. She just knew that the little one would be one completely spoiled elfling but one who would learn to wield a hammer and fear nothing, just like Rog. And Manya would make sure that her son or daughter would know how to navigate every layer of society and see through every and all attempts at manipulation. Yes, he or she would be formidable and maybe one day lead a house too. It was a wonderful thought and she smiled as she fell asleep, safely embraced by her one true love, protected by one evil forever would fear.


End file.
